My co-author and frequent collaborator, Cameron Hewitt, is well-traveled, smart, and insightful. And, while he and I are in perfect sync in our travel styles and priorities, he gives voice to the next generation of "Rick Steves travelers." Join me in enjoying his reports right here. —Rick

10 European Discoveries for 2023

In 2022, as travel resumed, I made it back to lots of famous places: London, Rome, Amsterdam, Dubrovnik. The Matterhorn, the Scottish Highlands, the hill towns of Tuscany. But, as usual, many of my favorite experiences came in lesser-known corners of Europe — underappreciated places that exceed expectations when it comes to creating beautiful memories.

As a refresher: My annual “Discoveries” list is one traveler’s arbitrary rundown of places I’ve been to recently (mainly in 2022) that may not already appear on many itineraries. These are just ten of the hundreds of such places, all over Europe — meant not as any sort of definitive “best of” list, but simply to inspire you to go beyond the Londons, Parises, and Romes when planning your 2023 travels. In fact, I’d love it if you shared your own favorite finds in the comments.

And if you’d like to see previous years’ lists, here are the Discoveries for 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021 — all still great choices. (I skipped the Discoveries in 2022…not wanting to jinx what, a year ago, felt like a tenuous time to travel.)

Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina

Imagine a bustling city in a stunning setting — tucked in the deep valley of a gurgling river, surrounded by green hills. It has a dynamic history as a crossroads of civilizations, where you can visit a Catholic church, an Eastern Orthodox church, a mosque, and a synagogue, all within a couple of blocks. One part of town feels like a Turkish bazaar, with riverstone cobbles underfoot, the sound of tapping coppersmith hammers, the smell of sweet hookah smoke, and the haze of grilling meat hanging heavy in the air. And then, just a few steps away, you enter a tidy Habsburg street plan with proud turn-of-the-century architecture, parks, and boulevards.

This city also has a delicious culinary tradition of delectably seasoned meats, decadently spreadable cheeses, and crispy savory pastries cooked under a metal baking lid covered with hot coals…not to mention unfiltered coffee and honey-soaked treats (think baklava). Oh, and the locals are incredibly welcoming, easygoing, and quick to befriend visitors, and they have fascinating life stories to share.

Now imagine that this place has next to no American tourists.

This is not a fantasy; it’s Sarajevo. With each return visit, I simply can’t fathom why so few travelers have discovered what may well be the most underrated capital city in Europe.

Returning this fall, I discovered a new hole-in-the-wall shop on the main drag that specializes in just one perfect dish: First, they pull a puffy lepinje flatbread pocket straight out of the oven. Then they slather it with the soft cheese kajmak, which begins to melt and fill in all the little grooves. You can pay a bit extra to stuff it with flavorful smoked beef…a delicious mobile feast. Walking down the street, munching one of my favorite meals of the trip (if not the year), it occurred to me that, on top of everything else, Sarajevo might be one of the best “street foodie” destinations in Europe.

Sarajevo has a new fancy hotel downtown, and it recently opened a cable car that trundles visitors to the mountaintop high above town for sweeping views. Those are nice upgrades, but they’re just gilding the lily of what’s already one of travel’s great cities. Someday Sarajevo will start to get the attention it deserves. But in the meantime, it’s cheap, uncrowded, and endlessly rewarding.

Richmond, London, England

During the dark days of the pandemic, like a lot of people, I took solace in binge-watching TV. One of the shows I found most uplifting was Ted Lasso, the story of an insistently upbeat American football coach transplanted to the UK to manage a soccer squad. Richmond may not be a real team, but it absolutely is a real place — a sleepy bedroom community just outside London. And on a sunny weekend in February, I went to Richmond on a lark, just to see if I recognized anything from the show. Sure enough, I found myself standing on that adorable, perfectly British square, with a pair of red telephone boxes; a classic half-timbered pub with sturdy picnic tables out front; narrow, shop-lined alleys leading every which way; and facing an expansive green packed with people out for a stroll. During the pandemic, when I closed my eyes and dreamt of being back in Britain…this was the place I imagined.

It was a small thrill to find the door to “Ted’s apartment,” and to step into his local pub. But if I’m being honest, I quickly forgot all about that fictional world…and enjoyed exploring the real one. One of my all-time favorite moments of 2022 was simply sitting on a bench at Richmond Green, watching dogs chase tennis balls.

For me, Richmond illustrates two things: First, Britain has hundreds of charming little communities that are worth poking around for an hour or two. This one just happens to star on a TV show. And second, I just love it when I go someplace for some random reason — in this case, because I saw it onscreen — and wind up loving it for its own sake. So on your next trip, make a point to find “your” Richmond… whether or not it’s actually Richmond.

Upper Engadine and Nearby Scenic Rail Lines, Switzerland

To be clear: I’m not saying that the Upper Engadine is somehow better than, say, the Berner Oberland, or Zermatt and the Matterhorn. But this remote, rugged corner of Graubünden, in the southeast corner of Switzerland, was perhaps the biggest (and nicest) surprise of my late-summer guidebook research trip. The most famous place here is the glitzy, soulless, skippable resort of St. Moritz. Instead, stay in nearby Pontresina and have a grand ol’ time riding lifts to lofty panoramic perches (Piz Nair, Muottas Muragl, Alp Languard) and exploring stony traditional villages (like Samedan).

The Upper Engadine’s other claim to fame is its position at the intersection of two world-famous scenic rail journeys, the Glacier Express and the Bernina Express. I did both of those trips, too. And if I’m being honest, eight-plus hours — even a super-scenic train — is a lot. Here’s a pro tip: Based in Pontresina, you could do only the very best bits of both journeys, a couple of hours in each direction, then come right back home. This efficient approach lets you conquer two of the most astonishing high-alpine rail lines in the world, each a feat of late-19th-century engineering: the Bernina Pass (to the south, toward Italy) or the Albula Pass (north, toward Chur). With stone bridges that soar hundreds of feet above yawning valleys, ingenious circular viaducts that loop 360 degrees to dispense with the need for cogwheels, and peek-a-boo views of snowcapped, 14,000-foot peaks and receding glaciers, Pontresina gives you easy access to what may be the most stunning train trips in Europe, mile per mile.

As a bonus, for those on a tight budget, most Upper Engadine accommodations provide a sightseeing card that covers all local transport — including those thrilling (but pricey) mountain lifts. This basically doubles the value of what you pay for your lodgings (but make sure they include it before you book). Maybe this is yet another reason why most of my fellow hikers were active Swiss retirees rather than the Insta-glam jet set.

The Jordaan, Amsterdam, The Netherlands

In the middle of an intense, seven-week trip of tour guiding and guidebook research, I had a three-day weekend to relax and recover. The place I chose was Amsterdam — and specifically, the Jordaan, a residential neighborhood of tidy grid-planned blocks, traditional skinny houses, funky shops, and local restaurants. I found the perfect apartment, in the attic of a family home — with crooked, creaking funhouse floors and dramatically angled rafters. To reach my room, I had to climb two staircases so steep they were practically ladders. And when I opened the window and saw a pair of bikes brrrring-brrrring-ing past on the idyllic street scene below, I knew I’d found the perfect getaway.

One morning, I woke up to discover an utterly delightful weekend street market (two of them, actually) sprawling through the lanes and squares near my apartment. Another time I rode a tram to Vondelpark and rented a bike to pedal with the Amsterdammers in a lush, green oasis. On several occasions, I window-shopped the delightful nearby restaurant streets (with the even-more-delightful names Eerste Anjeliersdwarsstraat and Tweede Anjeliersdwarsstraat) and took my pick from the incredible variety of places to eat.

One thing I did not do, a single time, on this visit to Amsterdam? Complain about the touristy crowds. Because the Jordaan let me avoid them entirely.

Trieste, Italy

The Italian port city of Trieste has an identity crisis like no place else. Today it’s part of Italy — but just barely, connected by an umbilical cord of land just wide enough for a railroad and a highway. It’s almost entirely surrounded by Slovenia, whose parched karstic cliffs rise up like a stone curtain just behind the city. Complicating matters, most of today’s Trieste was built not by Italians or Slovenes, but by Austrians and Hungarians, who transformed this humble settlement into their primary trade port and shipbuilding center…with grandiose buildings that would feel more at home on Vienna’s Ringstrasse or Budapest’s Andrássy út, rather than a few steps from Adriatic embankments. This is the kind of place where you need a conspiracy-type diagram, with red yarn crisscrossing thumbtacked photos and maps, just to figure out who controlled it, and who lived here, and when, and why.

And yet, all of that complexity melts away when you actually set foot here. Trieste is hard to characterize, but the main thing is that it’s simply lovely: a grand, imperial-feeling city with a sunny seafront embankment, shot through with faded elegance (from fin-de-siècle coffee houses to aristocratic villas), and with more than its share of fascinating history. Choosing between Austrian pork cutlets, Italian pastas, and Slovenian jota (turnip stew) and potica nut-roll cakes on the same menu, you know you’re at a nexus of history. As someone with a passion for Habsburg history, for Slovenia, and for Italy, I knew I’d find Trieste interesting. But I wasn’t prepared to enjoy it as much as I did.

Side-note: I’m not entirely sure whether I went to Trieste because I read Jan Morris’ riveting Trieste and the Meaning of Nowhere, or if I read her book because I was going to Trieste — but either way, it reminded me how “bringing along” a great author or historian with you, on any trip, immeasurably deepens your appreciation of a place. And Trieste is a twofer, since James Joyce lived here while writing most of Ulysses (as documented in a lovable local museum). This is fitting, when you consider how a cacophony of languages and cultures fills the streets of Trieste — just like in the pages of that masterpiece.

Glasgow, Scotland

Every time I go back to Glasgow, I like it even better. And this summer, I had plenty of time to think about why…when I got stuck there for several extra days after contracting COVID. But actually, I can think of few better places to just sit around and recover.

I owe this — and my general good feelings about the city — to the Glaswegians. They’re kind and generally good-natured, but also wicked-smart and fiendishly funny. They have a penchant for knocking important city leaders down a peg by crowning their statues with orange traffic cones. The city has some of the most beautiful, most wildly creative, most satirically incisive street art I’ve seen anywhere.

As an indication of how endearingly salt-of-the-earth Glasgow is, its single best museum (in a city with lots of great ones) may just be the old tenement house whose resident moved out in 1975 after not having changed a thing in five decades — and they’ve left it perfectly preserved to this day, a fascinating time warp of midcentury, middle-class lifestyles.

Sure, the city center lacks the Old World romance of Edinburgh. (It reminds me of Cincinnati or Indianapolis, with fewer high-rises, more interesting architecture, and an infinitely more entertaining accent.) But I’m drawn to the West End, the posh yet hip residential district that’s a short bus, subway, or taxi ride away. Surrounding the U. of Glasgow campus are green parklands, lively traditional music pubs, and cozy streets lined with endlessly browsable restaurants and shops. On this visit, stepping off the subway, I bumped into a fascinating mural celebrating the many different people who call this corner of Scotland home. Mesmerized, I couldn’t pull myself away for about 15 minutes.

The next time I wind up getting stuck in Europe…I hope it’s in a place as nice, and as engaging, as Glasgow.

Pelješac Wine Country, Dalmatian Coast, Croatia

The Pelješac (PELL-yeh-shawts) Peninsula is a long, skinny spit of land poking out into the Adriatic Sea just north of Dubrovnik, on Croatia’s Dalmatian Coast. It’s always been an off-the-beaten-path destination for wine lovers who’ve done their homework. But in 2022, Pelješac came closer to the mainstream overnight, when they finally opened a brand-new bridge that routes most traffic right along its base.

In October, I spent a fun and fascinating day with a local wine expert (Sasha Lušić, who runs the D’Vino Wine Bar in Dubrovnik) to get my guidebook coverage up to snuff for the coming onslaught of visitors. We visited Ston to ogle its beefy fortifications and vast salt pans; we pulled over along a sleepy bay to slurp fresh oysters, pulled straight from the Adriatic, and washed down with a local sparkling white wine; and, best of all, we dropped in on a half-dozen different wineries, lovingly handpicked by Sasha.

I was especially charmed by Anto Grgurević, who holds advanced degrees in viniculture. Anto is determined to combine academic research with hands-on sweat equity to advance the art of Croatian winemaking. He has reintroduced some classic traditional vines — once used extensively here, but long since forgotten — even as he experiments with doing old things in new ways. (He’s the first in the region to make an amber wine, using a naturally occurring “albino” grape.)

After our tasting, Anto said “Follow me,” hopped in his car, and drove us deep into the peninsula’s interior to his family’s vineyard. Donning a comically large sombrero to shield himself from the glaring sun (good for the grapes, less so for the eyes), he walked us through the vines, pointing out the different types of grapes here and there, each matched perfectly to the precise microclimate of that patch of land.

Looking out over the hillsides where his ancestors toiled, Anto grew philosophical. “I’ve only got about 25 vintages in my life,” he said. “That really only gives me a few years to experiment and figure out how to make the best possible wine. Then I’ll spend the rest of my life cranking it out.”

Then he said, with a wink: “The best vines, you plant for your kids and your grandkids.”

Oh, and the wines? The wines are sensational.

Toruń, Poland

This gorgeous, red-brick town — cute as a fairy tale, and famous for its gingerbread and for native son Nicholas Copernicus — has always been a personal favorite. But I’ve always suspected my affinity for Toruń was somehow idiosyncratic, because I almost never see (non-Polish) travelers here.

Then, this May, I headed up a team of Polish guides to lead the first-ever departure of our new Rick Steves Best of Poland tour…and I’ll be darned if every single person in our group didn’t utterly fall in love with Toruń, too. The next morning, as we were pulling out from our one-night stay, there was practically a mutiny on the bus to call off the rest of our itinerary and just stick around Toruń.

Toruń has no world-class sights. There aren’t many, if any, museums or churches worth entering. But I’ve rarely been to a place that’s more delightfully strollable. It has cozy red-brick buildings, grand interlocking squares, broad traffic-free promenades, stately churches with prickly spires…and the whole city smells like gingerbread.

After our hands-on gingerbread-making demonstration, we oriented our group for their free evening. Our best advice: “Just walk down this street until you run out of pretty things to look at. Then come back.” A couple of hours later, I followed my own advice and went for a twilight stroll. Reaching the far end of the Old Town, I heard a raucous echo through an otherwise empty square…and followed that noise to an outdoor restaurant where about half of our tour group was having their favorite meal of the trip.

And that’s the kind of place Toruń is: Not much to see. Not much to do. But a wonderful place to simply be.

Modena and Emilia-Romagna, Italy

Italian food is, of course, delicious. But what if I told you there was a place in Italy that Italians — from the scalps of the Alps to the toe of the “boot” — unanimously agree has the best food anywhere?

Back in 2021, I spent much of the year putting together an ambitious project: a brand-new, full-color, region-by-region handbook to Italian cuisine called Rick Steves Italy for Food Lovers (which just hit bookshelves everywhere). One of the hazards of that project was that our co-author, renowned Italian food expert Fred Plotkin, makes foodies like me desperately want to visit every corner of Italy.

In particular, I got caught up in Fred’s enthusiasm for the region of Emilia-Romagna. This is where you find some of the most quintessentially delicious Italian foods: luxurious pastas, especially filled ones; some of Italy’s top salumi, from mortadella to prosciutto di Parma; and, of course aceto balsamico tradizionale and Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese — don’t you dare call them “balsamic vinegar” or “parmesan.”

After months of salivating at my desk, I just had to see this place for myself. So when my wife and I finally returned to Europe in the fall of 2021, we included a couple of days in Emilia-Romagna. We had world-class meals in Bologna, Parma, and Ferrara, and we spent two nights in Modena. The food was, if possible, even better than promised. The tortellini in brodo at that sidewalk café in Parma immediately shot to the top of our “best pastas ever” list, even as it redefined what pasta could be.

But we also adored the livable cities, which combined a certain elegance with a user-friendly unfussiness. And Modena in particular got under our skin, as the perfect home base. There are no important sights in town; to be honest, I never set foot in a museum or church. But we never tired of exploring its streets and squares.

And, of course, Modena also provided many memorable meals. One Sunday evening, I kept striking out when my first through fifth choices for dinner were closed. My “last resort” — a desperation play — wound up providing me with one of my best meals of the trip.

That’s Modena…and Emilia-Romanga. It’s no wonder that Tuscans, Romans, Lombards, and Sicilians all love to eat here.

Stopping to Listen to the Church Bells…Anywhere

Looking back on 2022, this was a year when I simply enjoyed being back in Europe — anywhere, doing anything, often doing nothing at all. During those two long years stuck at home, I had plenty of time to reflect on what I love best about travel — especially as I was assembling my travel memoir, The Temporary European. In that book, I explain the conclusion I reached: The best experiences in Europe are, so often, not the big sights and famous attractions. Rather, they are those precious moments in between that stick with you long after you’ve returned home.

I present this in terms of “stopping to listen to the church bells” — no matter how busy you are. But it can take many other forms. Maybe it’s sitting on a park bench on Richmond Green, watching people and their dogs enjoy a sunny day. Chatting with a Croatian vintner about his ancestral responsibility and his contemporary passion. Doing a little “street grazing” in Sarajevo. Getting lost in the heavenly gingerbread allure of Toruń. Browsing an Amsterdam street market.

Where are you going in 2023? It doesn’t matter. Go where you like. But when you get there, don’t spend your time racing from place to place, adhering to an ambitious itinerary. Make a point to stop — literally stand still — and, even if for just a moment, take it all in. Notice the little details of everyday life you’ve always missed. Eavesdrop on conversations…and if you have something to add, interject. Imagine what it might be like to actually live in that place. And if you hear the church bells chime…listen.

Where are you headed in 2023? Any favorite discoveries from 2022 you’d like to share?


If you enjoyed this list, and would like to browse some others, check out my Discoveries for 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021.

Most of my travels in 2022 were to update our Rick Steves guidebooks. Many of those new, fully-updated-post-COVID editions (including Italy, London, Scotland, and many more) are now available at our Rick Steves Travel Store; the rest are coming soon in 2023.

If you enjoy these stories, check out my travel memoir, The Temporary European: Lessons and Confessions of a Professional Traveler. You can find it at your favorite local bookstore, online at the Rick Steves Travel Store, or as an e-book (such as the Kindle edition).

2022 in Review — What a Year for Travel!

It’s hard to imagine a more eventful year for travel than 2022. Reflecting on the last 12 months, I’m astonished at how much has happened in the world of travel — and in my own travels. It was a year of returning to the road despite COVID, yes…but also the invasion of Ukraine, the death of the Queen,  and so very much more. I’m not usually in the habit of quoting communist despots, but this saying from Vladimir Lenin suits our kitchen-sink times: “There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen.”

And so, here’s a recap of my 2022 travels. I hope it serves as a snapshot of the “state of travel in 2022” — one of the wildest, fastest-changing years I can remember. If you’ve been to Europe this year, you may find some of this relatable. If you haven’t, it may be illuminating. And mixed in are some personal travel stories I hope you can enjoy vicariously.

Fair warning: This recap is long. (I’m trying to tell you — a lot happened in 2022!) Bear with me and feel free to skim. If you’d like more information on any of these topics, I’ve linked to posts on my blog or on my Facebook page, where I was very busy this year, tracking my travels. (If you aren’t on Facebook, you may not be able to read some of those posts.) I plan to continue my frequent, real-time travel updates as I hit the road again in 2023. If you’d like to follow along, be sure to subscribe to my blog and follow me on Facebook.

Late 2021: Omicron Rising

One year ago, in the mellow days after Thanksgiving 2021, news broke of a scary new COVID variant that was spreading rapidly around the globe. For a brief moment, Omicron was, frankly, terrifying; some hardy travelers (including both Rick and I) had made tentative first forays back to Europe in 2021, and we were looking forward to “post-COVID” European trips in 2022. Our bus tours were nearly sold out, and we’d already started booking some guidebook-research trips. Omicron tapped the brakes on all those travel dreams. But gradually, it became clear that the new variant was more virulent, but less deadly that the original; rather than being a harbinger of more lockdowns in 2022, it marked a pivot toward travelers learning to live with COVID as we got on with our lives.

We pride ourselves on updating our Rick Steves guidebooks in person, typically every two years. But the global pandemic interrupted that routine, and we wound up taking an extra two-year hiatus on all of our titles. Rick, our managing editor Jennifer Davis, our publisher Avalon, and the rest of us at Rick Steves’ Europe knew it would be a massive project to get those books fully up to date, post-COVID. To get as many books out as possible by the end of 2022, we’d have to hit the ground running, do more research than we’d ever done in a single year, and compress our production timeline to do it faster than ever, to boot. Jennifer moved mountains to come up with a smart plan, and we spent most of the winter making research assignments and booking trips.

We were ready to hit the road.

Early 2022: Back to Europe!

When I took off for London in mid-February of 2022, I was the first one out — leading the vanguard of a team of 20 co-authors and researchers who would fan out across Europe to whip those books into shape. (Rick followed just a few weeks behind, hitting 10 cities on a 40-day research trip of his own.)

As a sign of the times, three things happened during my first week in London: A few days before I took off, Buckingham Palace announced that Queen Elizabeth had contracted COVID. Around the time I landed, Boris Johnson announced the end of all COVID restrictions for the UK. (Both would be gone, in very different ways, by year’s end.) And a couple of days into my trip, Russia invaded Ukraine. (More on that later.)

For more than 20 years, I’ve spent three months of each year in Europe, mainly updating our guidebooks. At first, the forced break of COVID was, frankly, welcome: I’d been getting burned out, even jaded, and I didn’t mind having a rest. But after two long years, I was champing at the bit to get back to guidebook work. I was excited, and nervous.

That first morning, I woke up and surveyed my list: I had about 12 days to update our 600-page Rick Steves London guidebook. I had to start somewhere. So why not Westminster Abbey? I rode the bus to England’s top church and, before stepping inside, I snapped a photo to commemorate the occasion and posted it on Facebook.

One hour later, I came back outside with loads of handwritten updates scrawled into the margins of that book. One section down; hundreds more to go.  By the way, that Facebook photo wound up being by far my biggest ever — more than 11,000 people “liked” it. It was clear that I wasn’t the only traveler excited to be tiptoeing back to normal after such a long delay.

I worked hard in London — visiting, as I always do, virtually every single hotel, restaurant, museum, shop, and so on to personally check in with each business owner and to update their listing. I was very happy to confirm that the vast majority of our favorite small businesses — the mom-and-pop hotels and restaurants that are the cornerstone of our guidebooks, and of our style of travel — had survived the pandemic. I did notice another trend, however: Life changes. There were more divorces, retirements, and ownership changes than ever before. Some people call the COVID era “The Great Reshuffle.” Anecdotally, it’s clear to me that anyone who was contemplating a lifestyle change took a hint from the pandemic.

I also made a point to slow down and enjoy being back on the road — a pledge I’d made to myself during those many, many long months without travel. After many trips to London, I’d never actually been to Abbey Road. My Beatles fandom recently re-ignited thanks to Peter Jackson’s Get Back documentary, I decided it was time to change that — and made a point to add a 30-minute detour to that famous crosswalk at the end of a busy day of research.

On my day off, I headed to Kew Gardens to update our guidebook listing. And then I realized I was just a short bus ride from Richmond, the setting of Ted Lasso (a TV show which, like many people, I’d found much solace in during those dark pandemic nights). I managed to find Ted’s “local” and his apartment, and sat on a bench on Richmond Green watching dogs chase tennis balls for 30 minutes — which, strangely enough, may be my favorite travel memory for all of 2022.

From London, I flew to Rome, where I had another 10 days to update another 600-page guidebook. Whereas in London, it had struck me that most people were “over” COVID (with very few precautions and little masking), Italy was still behaving very cautiously: You still had to show your up-to-date vaccination card to enter a museum or restaurant, and masking was near-universal.

In Rome, too, I made a point to linger and enjoy. At one of my favorite sights in the Eternal City — the Protestant Cemetery — I enjoyed getting to know the local cats who hang out at the nearby cat hospice. But there was plenty of hard work to be done; on one gloomy day, I hit the pavement in the streets surrounding Termini train station, and updated 47 hotels in a single day.

While that was grueling, it was a treat simply checking out with our many hoteliers and restauranteurs, who take such good care of our readers (and, often, also our tour groups) that they feel like part of the extended “Rick Steves family.” Everyone was ramping up for what they hoped would be a busy year, but expressed concern that customers weren’t bouncing back as quickly as expected. In those early months of 2022, the one-two punch of Omicron and the Ukraine invasion had scared off many travelers. Roman hoteliers told me that they’d seen a flurry of cancellations.

In both cities, I noticed a big trend: During the pandemic, technology had been adopted in a big way. This makes sense: Before COVID, how many of us had ordered groceries through an app, or connected with friends and coworkers via video chat? In Europe, more and more museums allowed (or even required) prebooking tickets online, and many did away with borrowable audioguides in favor of apps you download to your own device.

One of the biggest changes was the rapid adoption of “contactless” or “tap” payment — by credit card, smartphone, or smartwatch. Upon boarding a public bus, instead of rummaging around in your pocket for loose change, you can now simply tap your card or phone against the pay pad. I love this system, which makes paying for everything so much easier.

While still on the road, I submitted both London and Rome — the full guidebook text files, plus dozens upon dozens of virtually marked-up maps. Back in the home office, our amazing editorial and cartographic team began the heroic effort of tidying up and finalizing those chapters to send to our publisher. I wrapped up with more research in Naples and Tuscany (Siena, Pisa, Lucca) before heading home.

Home Interlude: The Temporary European

I was back home for just a few weeks before returning to Europe on a second trip. This quick interlude was a blur, but it coincided with the promotion of my new travel memoir. Back in 2020, when it became clear I’d be grounded for a while, I took a sabbatical from my office work to collect many years’ worth of blog posts and turn them into a cohesive book. It turned out to be a beautiful opportunity to reflect on my two decades of traveling and working with Rick Steves. As I refined and filled in gaps, it became clear that all of those stories had the same theme: traveling as a temporary European.

The Temporary European: Lessons and Confessions of a Professional Traveler came out in early 2022. It’s a collection of my favorite travel tales, plus behind-the-scenes chapters about what it’s like to work with Rick Steves, write guidebooks, lead bus tours, and make travel television. It also gave me a chance to introduce the world to my wife’s well-traveled Great-Great Aunt Mildred, whose personal travel motto I’ve appropriated as my own: Jams are fun!

Early 2022 was a strange time to come out with a book. Bookstores weren’t really doing in-person author appearances, and virtual ones were already kind of passé. So, while the book was well-received, I didn’t quite get the “book tour” of my wildest dreams. That said, my publisher, Travelers Tales, set up several book readings over the late spring and summer where I had the chance to connect with my fellow travelers in person. It’s been just wonderful meeting many of you at cool independent bookstores — from Seattle to San Francisco to Columbus, Ohio — and hearing about your travels.

(Gratuitous plug: If you enjoy my approach to travel — or know someone who might, and need a stocking stuffer — you can get The Temporary European for 30% off through the end of the year on Ricksteves.com, as part of our Holiday Sale. And Amazon.com has the Kindle edition priced at an incredibly low $1.99 through December 4. Get yours now!)

Before long, it was time to head back to Europe. Next up: Poland!

The Ukraine Invasion…and Touring Poland

Back in 2020, we were all ready to run the inaugural departure of a brand-new Best of Poland in 10 Days tour, which I’d helped design (with the multitalented Robyn Stencil from our Tour Operations team). In fact, I was going to come out of “tour guide retirement” after many years of focusing on guidebook research to lead that tour myself — with a team of talented, mostly newly hired Polish tour guides.

Like so many other travel dreams, that got scrapped…but only temporarily. And in early May, I flew to Gdańsk — on Poland’s Baltic Coast — to meet Robyn, those four Polish guides, and our intrepid group to begin the tour.

It was a tall order: Not only had I not led a tour in many years, but it was a brand-new tour, and I’d be mentoring some talented guides who — fantastic though they were — had mostly not been on a full Rick Steves tour before. Plus, we had some complicated COVID restrictions to carefully implement: Testing all the guides and tour members before the tour, checking vaccination cards at the first night’s meeting, and ensuring that everyone remained safely masked on the bus.

All of that would have been complicated enough. But we were also leading a tour in a country whose neighbor, Ukraine, had recently been invaded by a hostile empire.

Russia’s February invasion of Ukraine is one of the most impactful geopolitical events in Europe in recent memory. I was fortunate enough to travel in Ukraine back in the fall of 2018; I learned a lot about the complicated historical “brotherhood” between Ukraine and Russia, and about the military standoff that was already happening in the country’s east. With this in mind, as Putin’s threats escalated over the winter, I had a very bad feeling that he was not bluffing.

The war in Ukraine — which has already cost somewhere on the order of 100,000 Ukrainian lives, and 100,000 Russian ones — has been somehow both shocking and utterly predictable.

Throughout Europe, I’ve seen Ukrainian flags and demonstrations of solidarity everywhere. While we in North America have (mostly) been cheering on President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and his ragtag resistance form afar, Europeans understand that the stakes are very high. For one thing, many Europeans are fundamentally pacifistic — a painfully hard-learned lesson from two devastating world wars. My sense is that they’re simply horrified at the thought of such atrocities happening anywhere on European soil.

On a more pragmatic basis, Europe still gets much of its oil from Russia. They want to stand up to Putin, which means boycotting (as much as possible) Russian oil exports. And that means scrambling for alternatives (whether it’s keeping open nuclear power plants that were slated to be decommissioned, as in Germany, or doubling down on coal, as in Greece). It also means that energy prices this winter will be extremely high, causing great anxiety and leaving Europeans scrambling to cut heating costs. (On a recent visit to a heated outdoor pool in Switzerland, a sign politely informed swimmers that they’d lowered the temperature by one degree Celsius. Every little bit helps!)

Of course, in Poland — as Ukraine’s neighbor, and a place with a history of unpleasant relations with Russia — the stakes are higher still. Something like two million Ukrainian refugees had crossed into Poland by the time our tour began in early May. I think many of us visitors were expecting to see tent cities and shantytowns filled with refugees…but we were surprised, and impressed, at how constructively Poland has absorbed all of these new arrivals into their society.

One day, I was having lunch with our Polish guides in the red-brick downtown of Gdańsk, and one of them pointed out a handsome old building across the street. “That was an underutilized dorm and activity center for Scouts,” one of them told me. “That sign with the Ukrainian flag by the door explains that now it’s housing refugees.”

In the context of all of this, our new Poland tour seems incredibly insignificant. But it was a fascinating case study in how the situation in Ukraine has (or hasn’t) affected travel. A few of our tour members told us they’d considered cancelling the tour after the war broke out, but decided to stick with it.

As soon as our tour members arrived in Poland and took a walk, they realized that it was a perfectly safe and stable place to be. It helps that Poland is in NATO; Putin understands that messing with Poland would have extreme consequences (which we saw recently, when a couple of missiles — apparently accidentally — crossed that border, and briefly put the world on high alert).

Long story short: The tour was a huge success. The itinerary came off without a hitch, even though it was the first time we’d done it. (Our biggest “problem” was that we kept arriving at the next town faster than our conservative estimates.) Those new guides were wonderful, and each of them has gone on to lead the tour on their own, to great acclaim. And our tour members — about half of whom, like me, have Polish ancestry — were thrilled they’d joined us.

It was a special treat for me to share some of my favorite places and experiences with the group. Particularly memorable was the chance to attend an outdoor Chopin concert in Warsaw’s huge Łazienki Park. This important custom, which dates back more than six decades, was suspended for three years due to COVID. It was a very special treat that we happened to be there for the first concert of the season. The park was filled with Varsovians who were thrilled just to be together again, appreciating the music of their beloved composer.

If anything, what was happening in Ukraine enhanced the educational value of the tour, allowing our tour members to better understand all of the complexities of what was going on next door.

One of our favorite moments came on a night when we’d planned a fairly conventional dinner for the group. Our hotelier, Jarek — a longtime friend to Rick Steves travelers who use our guidebooks — mentioned that he’d hired several Ukrainians to work in his restaurant. We had a brainstorm: Rather than cooking Polish dishes, as they normally do, how would those Ukrainian chefs like to cook us a traditional Ukrainian meal, to celebrate their home culture? They jumped at the chance and served us a delicious and unforgettable menu of their favorite flavors from back home. And Jarek invited a musician to serenade us on the traditional Ukrainian stringed instrument called a bandura, to boot.

If that’s not great travel…I don’t know what is.

Summer in Europe: Travel Gains Momentum

From Poland, I flew to Amsterdam, where I did more guidebook research in the Netherlands (updating five cities in five days), then Belgium (where Antwerp bucked the trend of small businesses surviving the pandemic — I had to scramble to replace nearly half of our listings).  And then it was on to Scotland.

Things everywhere had already changed dramatically even since the spring. Most COVID restrictions had gone by the wayside. Masking had become rare. And the crowds — who, back in March, had seemed to be tentatively dipping a toe in the water — were full-on diving back into Europe.

In June, I spent three weeks traveling all over Scotland, updating a guidebook whose first edition I’d pioneered back in 2015. In the intervening years, other researchers had passed through to put their touches on it. Discovering all the wonderful fixes and additions that happen to a guidebook over time is one of my favorite things about my work.

I enjoyed being in sunny Edinburgh during the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, then rented a car and did a two-week road trip through the Highlands. This was a good old-fashioned European road trip, with loads of castles, moody glens, and delightful encounters. I watched a thrilling sheepdog demonstration in the cold drizzle, listened to some top-notch traditional music in an Inverness pub, and set sail to the Isle of Iona. I was thrilled to pull over for a perfect roadside encounter with a “hairy coo” (shaggy Highland cattle). And then, following up on one of the many great leads my fellow travelers suggested on my Facebook page, I discovered a wonderful up-close-and-personal hairy coo experience at a remote ranch. I didn’t even mind when I got drenched with rain for three days on Skye. (Well…maybe a little.)

Even just since my previous visit, Outlander has come to play a huge role in driving Scottish tourism. While it’d be easy to be cynical about the Outlander-ization of Scotland, I’m on board for two reasons: First, the novels and TV show are meticulously researched and — despite being a time-travel fantasy — do a great job of actually educating people about Scotland. And second, I saw firsthand that many people may come “for” Outlander, but once here, they wind up excited about Scotland in its own right. If a TV show, or a movie, or a book, gets people to a place that deserves to be on itineraries on its own merits…then I’m all for it.

Another big theme in Scotland this summer — likely driven, at least in part, by all those Outlander fans — was that the whole country was stuffed to bursting. Especially in smaller communities (such as the Isle of Skye), staffing levels remained inconsistent, and there simply weren’t enough B&B beds or restaurant tables to go around. I had trouble booking rooms for my June trip, even though I started looking way back in February; many of our top-rated B&Bs told me that even in January, they were sold out through the entire summer. And restaurants were booked out days, weeks, even months in advance. If you didn’t reserve well ahead in certain places, you’d wind up dining on groceries or takeout fish-and-chips. If you’re heading to Scotland anytime near summer, book as far ahead as you can.

Nessiegate

I was on a travel high one morning as I left Inverness and headed across the middle of Scotland to the Isle of Skye. My route took me right past the touristy north shore of Loch Ness, so I pulled over at the heavily hyped tourist zone along the lakeshore to check some details for our book.

And then…something inside me just snapped.

Immersed in one of the tackiest tourist traps in Europe, surrounded by greedy and crass roadside attractions, I felt an almost physical revulsion. I found myself feeling very sorry for all those unwitting travelers who’d come to this place, at a great investment of time and money, to stare out over an empty loch, then buy some overpriced trinkets.

On the rest of my journey to Skye, I occupied myself by mentally composing a Roger Ebert-type takedown of Loch Ness. That night, settled into my B&B, I had an absolute hoot writing up my little Nessie rant. It was a critique of the crassness of the Loch Ness tourist machine, yes. But more than that, it was intended as practical advice for the travelers who look to me for advice: Skip Loch Ness, because your limited time is better spent elsewhere. (You can read the complete rant here. Much fun as I hope this is to read, the Comments are even more entertaining.)

I chuckled myself to sleep and woke up to a predominantly positive response from my followers, on the order of “Thanks for the warning!” To be honest, I forgot all about Loch Ness.

But then, a Glasgow-based tabloid newspaper saw my post and published an article about it. (With everything going on in the world these days, I can’t fathom why a reporter would spend time scouring my paltry social media presence for material. But I digress.)

The story got picked up by another tabloid. Then another. Then another. I knew things had gotten a bit out of hand when I received a message from BBC Scotland, asking if I’d like to appear on their primetime news broadcast to “elaborate” on my thoughts about Loch Ness.

It was fascinating to have a firsthand experience with a British tabloid news cycle. For a very short while, I was the bane of the Highlands. One Inverness paper even  posted a “person on the street” video of several people telling me, one after another, how wrong I was:

All of that I could take in stride. But I also heard from Scottish individuals — some of whom lived along the shores of Loch Ness — who were, understandably, hurt and offended that I’d be so dismissive. It was an important lesson: My intended audience was North American travelers planning a Scottish itinerary. But when something “crosses over” to an unintended audience — in this case, the Scottish public — it just hits different.

I couldn’t blame these people for being offended. I actually corresponded with some of them, most notably Toby from Loch Ness Living, who made some great points — including that it’s not really fair to judge a place based on such a quick visit.  The general sentiment was this: If you’d spent a day or two here, had gotten off the beaten path, really explored and settled in, you’d come to appreciate the full beauty of Loch Ness. And on that point, I cannot disagree.

(Others were more succinct. One private message I received on Facebook read simply: “You boring yank twat.”)

In the end, I feel a lot of empathy for people who work in the Loch Ness tourist industry. But I’m not the only one who let them down. The fact is, to a traveler, “Loch Ness” is that insanely tacky and touristy strip that I drove along that day. The local tourist industry is designed to steer passersby to that version of Loch Ness, and only that version of Loch Ness.

As all of this played out over the next few days, I had plenty of time to consider what, exactly, had triggered me so grievously to begin with. In a funny way, my Loch Ness takedown was a direct result of the pandemic. During those two long years of not being able to travel — and especially when I was writing my memoir — I gave a lot of thought to why I travel to begin with, and how I could travel better going forward. It helped me better draw the line between my idea of “good travel” and “bad travel.” And I pledged to rededicate myself to “good travel” when I was able to hit the road again.

Literally everything else I did in Scotland ticked the box for “good travel.” But then I came to Loch Ness. And it was the antithesis of everything I love about travel: It’s designed to exploit an entirely fabricated legend about an imaginary sea monster. It was a slap in the face. This is what I — what all of us — have waited two years for? Have we learned nothing?

Here’s what gets my goat about the Loch Ness Monster: It tells you absolutely nothing real or authentic or insightful about Scotland. Scotland has more than its share of clichés, which it aggressively exploits to stoke tourism: kilts, bagpipes, golf, whisky, haggis, castles, hairy coos, Outlander, and the list goes on. But the crucial difference between all those things and Nessie is this: All of those things have something real to teach you about Scotland.

The people who work in tourism at Loch Ness deserve better. Scotland deserves better. If they’re angry with me, perhaps they should redirect their anger at a tourism machine that spends all of its resources promoting a fake monster, and very little celebrating the natural and cultural wonders of Loch Ness.

Coming Down with COVID: To Fly or Not to Fly?

Surely “Nessigate” was more than enough drama for one trip to Scotland. But no! Scotland was not through with me. (Call it “Nessie’s Revenge.”)

At the end of my seven-week trip (which began all the way back in Poland), I was pretty wiped out and ready to head home for the summer. On my last day of research, in Glasgow, I felt run-down. I chalked that up to simply working too hard. But as I drifted off to sleep that last night, I felt a tickle in my throat.

I woke up feeling rotten, and as I  finished packing for my afternoon flight home, I weighed my decision. Two weeks earlier, the US government had waived the COVID testing requirement to enter the country. I could very well have just gone to the airport and hopped on my plane, shedding virus all the way. But if I had COVID, I didn’t want to expose my fellow passengers on the nine-hour flight home.

So I took a test. And it was positive.

I had a few hours before my flight, so I called my wife (who’d just gone to sleep back home) and talked through my options. I decided to stay in Scotland.

There were two main reasons: First, I was feeling worse by the minute, and I wasn’t up for taking such a long flight in this condition. And second, throughout the pandemic I’ve been preaching the importance of looking out for each other. I believe that one of the main lessons of COVID should be that if everyone does their part — getting vaccinated, wearing masks, avoiding contact when you’re sick — we all get through. This was an unwanted opportunity to live my values.

So, I rebooked my flight and spent several extra days in Glasgow, recuperating in my little but cozy hotel room.

That makes it sound simple. But these things are complicated — even when you’re “sure” you’ve made the right choice. At one point, I realized that if I hustled, I could still make it to my original flight in time. But then I asked myself: Would I want to be sitting next to me on a plane right now? Would I want my parents to be sitting next to that person?

That first night — at exactly the time I’d have been boarding my nine-hour flight — my fever peaked. I was glad to be in bed and not strapped into a seat. Fortunately, I was fully vaccinated and boosted, so I had a full and swift recovery; my fever lasted about a day, and the rest of the time felt like I was just recovering from a mild cold. When I finally made it to Seattle, I was grateful to be home — but also satisfied that I’d made the right choice, both for my fellow travelers and for myself.

September in Switzerland and Italy: No Matterhorn? No Matter!

In September, after a restful summer back home, I flew to Switzerland for more guidebook updates. (As an indication of how quickly our guidebook team was cranking out titles this year, the London and Rome books I’d updated in the spring had already hit my desk by the time I took off in September.)

On my previous visit to Zermatt — way back 15 years ago — the weather was so bad, I never even got to see the Matterhorn. But this time, I was determined to hang on to my post-pandemic optimism — to count my blessings at being able to travel at all. That first morning, I rode gondolas and cable cars up to the highest lift station in Europe, at a place called Klein Matterhorn. The weather was glorious, with deep-blue skies. You could see almost everything, in every direction…with one small exception: The Matterhorn itself was socked in. I just shrugged and said, “No Matterhorn? No matter! I’m still on a Swiss mountaintop.” (And I’m happy to report I did see the Matterhorn, several times, later in the trip.)

One afternoon, hiking high in the mountains with a Matterhorn view, feeling far from civilization, someone called my name: fans of Monday Night Travel who were using the same guidebook I was updating. Because much of my work at Rick Steves’ Europe is behind the scenes, I rarely get recognized when I’m in Europe. But throughout my travels this year, I bumped into more and more fans of “MNT” (as we call it).

Rick and a team of moderators (Gabe, Julianne, Lisa, and Ben) started doing Monday Night Travel during the pandemic, to offer a little “armchair travel” and a weekly pep talk from Rick. (I’ve appeared as a guest or co-host six times so far, most recently to talk about Romania.) Our hunch was that frustrated travelers appreciated having a weekly outlet for their wanderlust.

But now that we’re back traveling again, people are still watching — and I’ve bumped into many of them in Europe. From Edinburgh to Scotland, and throughout Croatia, MNT fans told me how much those weekly Zooms helped keep them going. In fact, every one of them used the same word: it was a “lifeline” while they were unable to travel.  (If you haven’t checked out MNT, you should! You can see the schedule and sign up on the Monday Night Travel website — and it’s always free. My next MNT appearance will be some Poland talk in March…stay tuned.)

While most of my travels this year were return visits to old favorites, one of my post-pandemic resolutions is to keep on exploring — there are always new places to be discovered. In September 2021, on my first trip back to Europe, I made a point to check out Italy’s Emilia-Romagna region (staying in wonderful Modena) and the town of Treviso; in both cases, I was very glad that I’d sampled something new. That trip inspired me to keep going down my list of “new-to-me” Italian destinations. So, upon wrapping up my work in Switzerland, my wife and I took a few days off to explore the Piedmont region in northern Italy. And then, after she flew home, I stopped off briefly in Trieste on my way to Croatia.

Especially for a traveler who sometimes feel like I’ve “seen it all,” there’s a special joy in exploring something new. In Piedmont, we stayed at B&B in the Langue region just south of Alba and did some side-trips to the bustling city of Cuneo, the famous wine villages of Barolo and Barbaresco, and plenty of bucolic joyrides. Part of the adventure here was renting an EV (electric vehicle) — and being extremely steep on the learning curve when it comes to using an electric car for a European road trip. I suspect this is the wave of the future; if you’d like to learn from my mistakes, rather than your own, check out my post on EVs in Europe.

In Trieste — an utterly fascinating port city at the northeastern tip of Italy, completely surrounded by Slovenia — I was so captivated by the history that I broke my personal rule to not do any sightseeing on a day off. As an aficionado of Central Europe, it was thrilling to be in the primary Mediterranean port for the sprawling Habsburg Empire — facing the sunny Adriatic, but filled with grand buildings that would seem more at home in Vienna or Budapest. And as a James Joyce fan, I appreciated the modest museum about his time in Trieste, when he wandered the city as he wrote his masterwork Ulysses.

Trieste also reminded me that it pays to do your homework. For years, I’ve heard raves from fellow history buffs for Jan Morris’ book Trieste and the Meaning of Nowhere. I read it over the summer in anticipation of my visit, and practically used it as a guidebook once in town to track down fascinating little details. I would have enjoyed Trieste without it — but it definitely enhanced my time there. (What book have you read that transformed your appreciation of a place?)

I must admit, however: Much as I love Italy, I’ll never quite get used to the Italian airport experience.

October in Croatia: Changes Are Coming and the Saltshakers Are Empty

From Trieste, it was a short journey to this year’s final assignment: Updating our Rick Steves Croatia & Slovenia guidebook (which also includes highlights in Bosnia-Herzegovina and Montenegro). As the co-author of this book, and a tour guide emeritus on our Adriatic tours, I’ve been to these places more times than I can count. But for most of them, it had been five long years — so this trip was all about reconnecting with wonderful old friends, and reacquainting myself with favorite places.

No matter how many times you return somewhere, there’s always something new to discover. For example, just this summer Croatia opened its new Pelješac Bridge, which means that traffic on the main road between Dubrovnik and the rest of the country no longer has to pass through a tiny stretch of Bosnian coastline (which used to require two border checkpoints). It was interesting hearing from locals all the ways — both expected and unexpected — about how this bridge was transforming travel.

Avoiding those borders is more important now than ever, because in just a few weeks — on January 1, 2023 — Croatia joins the Schengen open-borders zone. On the same day, they’ll retire their traditional currency, the kuna, and adopt the euro. It was fun to learn about the new Croatian euro coins, but I must admit that this complicates my work: Between the staggering inflation across Europe (and especially in Croatia), and this new currency conversion, it’s nearly impossible to predict exactly what things will cost for my book next year. If a museum charged 55 kunas in 2022, the official exchange will be €7.30. Of course, it’s more likely that they’ll round it up to €7.50 or even €8 in 2023. Or — as many Croatians fear — they may just take this chance to make the jump to €10.

If you think you’re exhausted from reading this recap, just imagine how wiped out people must be who work in the tourist industry. As September turned to October, I heard the same thing again and again from my Croatian friends: We love travelers. We are thrilled they’re back. But, frankly, we’re exhausted. I began to notice that many saltshakers were empty; the season was winding down and they weren’t being refiled. It stuck me that the Croatian people were in a similar situation: all too ready for a winter replenishment.

Grand Finale: A Slovenian Youth Hockey Match

I wrapped up these many months of travel back “home” in Slovenia — my favorite country, and the place in all of Europe where I feel the most comfortable. I never tire of this wonderful place.

I said earlier that my favorite travel moment of 2022 was sitting on a bench on a sunny Saturday on Richmond Green, just outside London. I realize now that was my second-favorite. My favorite was going to a youth hockey game in Ljubljana.

My good friend and fellow tour guide, Tina Hiti, was in town between tours when I was in Ljubljana. She was busy, trying to pack in several family obligations, and it was tricky to find time to meet up. “Unless…” she said. “You wouldn’t want to come to Anže’s hockey game, would you?”

Until that moment, I never would’ve imagined how much it would appeal to me to attend a kids’ hockey match. But hearing it now, I practically jumped to my feet. “YES!!!” I said. “Just tell me when and where.”

I have a special relationship with Tina’s family (whom I write about in The Temporary European). She and I are close friends, having started out as tour guides together more than 20 years ago, and I’ve watched her two sons grow up. Her dad, Gorazd, is also a tour guide, who takes visiting travelers on day-trips around the stunning Slovenian landscape. Only once they’re well into their day does Gorazd sheepishly tell them that he used to be a hockey player. In fact, he was a star of the Yugoslav Olympic hockey team, and is one of the most respected hockey coaches in Slovenia. And, of course, he coaches his grandsons’ teams.

Tina picked me up and drove me a half-hour out into the outskirts of Ljubljana, where we pulled into the parking lot of a nondescript arena. Going inside, Tina greeted all the other parents and we took our positions on the bench. We spent the next two delightful hours catching up between cheers for her son, the defender, and her dad, the coach. They were squaring off against a team that had beaten them soundly the previous year. Expectations were low, and Tina explained that her dad’s coaching style wasn’t about winning or losing — it was about teaching the skills, and more important, the values that go into being a great athlete. Win or lose, it’s an opportunity to learn.

As we watched the game, Tina told me about the various players, pointed out their parents, discussed their relative strengths and weaknesses on the ice. As expected, the team fell behind early. And then, in the third period, they began to catch up. Ever so gradually, Tina and the other parents nudged toward the edge of their seats. Winning may not matter…but in this case, it sure would be a nice boost for the kids. I found myself getting caught up in the action, too. While I’m not a huge hockey fan, I’ve been to a few games. But I’ve never been as invested in one like this.

“Our” team managed to catch up in the final minutes…and the game went into overtime. By this point, the air was electric as we watched these 10- and 12-year-olds zipping around the ice, playing their hearts out. And then — goooooal! Victory!

After the match, we headed downstairs to the little café under the stands. There was much beaming, laughing, and congratulatory back-slapping. Even Gorazd’s gentle smile came with a special twinkle in his eye.

Sitting there, nursing a hot cup of tea in a grubby ice rink café, celebrating with Tina and Gorazd, I remembered once again — for the hundredth, maybe thousandth time this year — what it really means to be a Temporary European.

I saw some incredible sights in 2022. Westminster Abbey, the Tower of London, the British Museum. St. Peter’s Basilica, the Sistine Chapel, the Colosseum. The Madonna of Częstochowa, the Ghent Altarpiece, Edinburgh Castle. The hill towns of Tuscany, the canals of Amsterdam, the Scottish Highlands, the Matterhorn in the Swiss Alps. All of those are great sights, yes, and very memorable. But none of them will stick with me quite like that Saturday in the park just outside Ted Lasso’s apartment, that first Chopin concert of the summer in Łazienki Park, or that youth hockey game in Ljubljana.

For me, that’s the overarching theme of 2022. And I hope it’s also the theme of 2023, 2024, and all the years to come: Let us never forget what a privilege it is to be able to travel. Let’s make sure to savor it — to count our blessings, to live every moment to the fullest, and to always be present in our explorations of this beautiful planet. Our mission, as travelers, is to watch for those opportunities where we can stow our cameras and our guidebooks, and just melt into Europe…even if just for a few precious moments.


Thanks for sticking with me through this long recap of an incredible year of travels. I’d love it if you want to join in the conversation in the Comments — what were your most vivid memories and lessons of 2022? What’s on your agenda for 2023?

If these stories resonated with you, consider picking up my travel memoir, The Temporary European: Lessons and Confessions of a Professional Traveler. In a way, this post is a sort of “postscript” for that book — a new chapter for those of you who’ve joined me on that journey. If you haven’t read it yet, take advantage of our 30% Holiday Sale, get it for your Kindle (where it’s just $1.99 through December 4), or pick it up at your favorite local bookshop. And thanks to all of you who’ve supported me in 2022 by buying a copy — it means a lot!

If you’d like to get your hands on those freshly updated guidebooks, about 20 titles are already out, with the rest rolling out in the coming weeks and months. All of our books — including all those new editions — are part of that 30% off Holiday Sale right now.

And if you’re intrigued by our Poland tour — or any other tour — consider taking advantage of our Seasons Givings event, going on through the end of 2022. Every tour is $100 off, and for each seat booked, we’ll also donate $100 to your choice of four major charities.

Happy travels in 2023!

Happy Birthday, Mr. Vonnegut!

If he were still alive, Kurt Vonnegut would be one century old today. I know this for certain, because throughout high school and college, I celebrated “Vonnegut Day” with a fervor on par with the run-up to Christmas. I would wear my Vonnegut T-shirt, carry around stacks of his books, and say intensely obnoxious things that only a teenager would say. Things like: “Aren’t you going to wish me a happy Vonnegut Day?”
 
If you are an avid reader, and you’re incredibly fortunate, you may find that one author you connect with on a primal level. Flipping through the pages of anything written by this person feels like a visit with an old friend. And for me, that old friend was Kurt Vonnegut. He certainly helped make me the writer, the traveler, and the human being I am today.
Reflecting on Kurt Vonnegut’s works on the centennial of his birth, what’s interesting is that I don’t think much about the works themselves. Plot points, characters, even specific turns of phrase don’t stand out in my mind as much as the feeling his works created in me. Sparking my imagination with very real-feeling people immersed in fantastical situations. Viewing events with a world-weary sense of humor. And, above all, having compassion and empathy for humanity, and human beings, not just in spite of our many flaws…but because of them.
 
Like so many others, I discovered Kurt Vonnegut in high school. It was the summer after my sophomore year, when I spent a month studying Spanish and living with a host family in Mexico. Back in the day before Kindles, I packed along a stack of ratty paperbacks. About midway through that trip, I found myself tearing through a half-dozen Vonnegut books in a matter of days: Slaughterhouse-Five, Cat’s Cradle, Bluebeard, and so on.
 
Returning home, I made my way through the rest of his works. And I mean everything. Every last word he wrote, I devoured. By the time I got to college, I’d already decided to be an English major and was seriously considering becoming a professional Vonnegut scholar, as if that were a viable career path. (No less viable than “guidebook writer,” I suppose.)
 
Which is Vonnegut’s best book? It’s difficult to choose anything but Slaughterhouse-Five. As a young GI fighting in World War II, Vonnegut was captured by the Nazis at the Battle of the Bulge. He was taken as a prisoner of war to Dresden, Germany, where on the night of February 13, 1945, he lived through the Allied firebombing of that city — which killed an estimated 25,000 people.
 
Later in life, as Vonnegut gained renown as an author — first of short stories, then of pulpy science fiction, and eventually as a significant literary voice — everyone wondered when he’d write about his Dresden experience. When he finally did, it was in the most outlandishly creative, most Vonnegutian way possible: His descriptions of a flattened and scorched Dresden were interwoven with the tale of Billy Pilgrim, a young GI who was “unstuck in time” — hopping back and forth between different points within his own lifetime, including the time he was abducted by aliens from the planet Tralfamadore. Vonnegut called his masterwork Slaughterhouse-Five, after the building in which Pilgrim (and the author himself) took shelter to survive the firebombing.
 
During high school and college, I re-read Slaughterhouse-Five so many times I practically had it memorized. And I listened to Vonnegut’s audio recording of the book so often that now I hear his voice in my head when I read it. It is, to be sure, a marvelous book — an evocative war story that’s also wildly imaginative, darkly hilarious, and aching with humanity.
 
I had other favorites, too — chief among them the underrated Bluebeard, about an aging, reclusive Abstract Expressionist painter who is prodded and inspired by a nosy neighbor to create his finest work. Other quintessential books that I particularly enjoyed were Cat’s Cradle, Mother Night, Galápagos, and the essay collection Palm Sunday. And, of course, there’s Breakfast of Champions, which Vonnegut filled with his own hand-drawn illustrations.
 
Vonnegut cut his teeth writing for his high school newspaper, which made his prose style lean, efficient, and to the point. Like Hemingway, his novels are concise and move swiftly. He tells stories that feel much bigger than the pages that contain them. Sometimes I worry my writing style is too “basic” and unadorned. When I read Vonnegut, I remember that’s by design.
 
Vonnegut recognizes that life can be full of tragedy and sadness, sometimes oppressively so. (He experienced this firsthand, far more than most, from digging out charred civilian corpses after the Dresden firebombing, to his mother taking her own life, to the tragically young deaths of his beloved sister, Alice, and her husband.) But he also taught us that, when given the choice between laughing or crying, the best choice is to laugh — “since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” My family and friends are perplexed, sometimes distressed, at my capacity to crack jokes even in the grimmest of circumstances. I learned it from Vonnegut.
 
There are few true villains in Vonnegut’s works; what villains you do encounter have complicated, often understandable motivations; and his heroes are severely flawed. He has taught entire generations of young Americans that being compassionate and empathetic is cool. His one piece of advice to newborns entering life on this earth: “God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”
 
On a personal note, I had the incredible good fortune to have two personal encounters with Mr. Vonnegut, at precisely the moment that my interest in his works was peaking.
 
Early in my college career, a friend of mine who attended Indiana University told me that Vonnegut would be speaking on campus one weeknight. A friend and I piled into my little Toyota Corolla and drove more than four hours, each way, to attend his one-hour lecture. It was entirely worth the long journey. Vonnegut held the audience rapt as he discussed his works, pondered his quirky approach to life, and took questions. The most thrilling moment came when he stood at a chalkboard and illustrated a system he’d devised to plot stories on an axis — tracking how the protagonist moves between ill fortune and good fortune as the story progresses. The big epiphany was that the narrative arc of the New Testament precisely matches Cinderella. (You can find old clips of Vonnegut doing this presentation online; it’s also explained in his book Palm Sunday.)
 
A couple of years later, during my senior year, my college — Ohio Wesleyan University — made a stunning announcement: Kurt Vonnegut would be coming to campus. By that time, my Vonnegut idolatry was well-known, maybe even notorious, among my professors and classmates in the OWU English department. One professor, Dr. Peterson, pulled some strings to have the student board — of which I was a member — attend dinner with Kurt Vonnegut before his lecture. And then, in an incredibly kind gesture, Dr. Peterson ensured that I got to sit at the table right next to my literary hero.
 
Vonnegut was tall, mellow, and weary. By that time, he was in his mid-seventies; he’d just published Timequake, a spiritual sequel to Slaughterhouse-Five that he claimed would be his final book. At that point in his life, I can only imagine how many fawning fans he’d politely endured, so I tried to stay restrained and mostly just listen.
 
I recall he lamented the miserable state of cinema in those days. I generally agreed, but wondered if he was familiar with Pulp Fiction, which hinted at something innovative. He was disinterested and quickly changed the subject. I may have failed, but at least I attempted to introduce Quentin Tarantino to Kurt Vonnegut.
 
After those precious few moments with Vonnegut, and after graduation, I decided that academia — and the prospect of becoming a professional Vonnegut expert — wasn’t the right fit for me. Somehow, I wound up on a path to becoming a professional traveler instead. Like the protagonist of many Vonnegut tales, I certainly didn’t see that coming.
 
These days, Kurt Vonnegut plays almost no role in my day-to-day life. On a shelf in my basement, you’ll find a little shrine consisting of a multitude of paperbacks and a votive candle featuring the great author. But even that, I barely pay attention to anymore. It’s just part of the detritus of my personal past, charged with fond memories but mostly ignored…like a box of dusty baseball cards or a dented trumpet from high school marching band.
 
But the great thing about a literary soulmate is that you never really outgrow them. Vonnegut’s influence still hides out in everything that I do — both consciously and, I’m sure, subconsciously. Kurt Vonnegut’s insatiable curiosity, his keen observational eye for both beauty and foibles, his ability to gather and synthesize nuggets and notions and inspirations, and his lifelong quest to more deeply understand humanity as a collection of fascinating and flawed individuals — these are all tenets of being a great traveler.
 
Not to mention, as he said to a howling audience one night nearly 30 years ago in Bloomington, Indiana: “We are here on earth to fart around, and don’t let anyone tell you different.”
 
I’m just one of millions of people who have been touched, in ways small and big, by Vonnegut’s unique and beautiful way of seeing our world. And so today, on behalf of all of us, let me just say: Happy one hundredth birthday. And thank you.

Renting an EV (Electric Vehicle) for a European Road Trip

Renting an all-electric car (or EV, electric vehicle) for the first time ever on my recent trip to Italy, I was incredibly steep on the learning curve.

If you follow me on Facebook, you know I am a devotee of the little, sporty Fiat 500 (cheengkway-chento). For a short getaway in Piedmont between guidebook research assignments, my wife and I were looking to rent one again — ideally with an automatic transmission. I was comparing prices when a screaming deal popped up: a Fiat 500e that was automatic, because it was also all-electric, for the same price as a gas-powered car. I figured, why not?

It turns out, there are many answers to that question…mainly because, while I am fully on board with the idea of electric cars, I had never actually driven one. In the end, it worked out fine. But it provided a few moments of drama and an education in the pros and cons of EV road-tripping in Europe. If you already have an EV, none of this will surprise you. (In fact, you’ll richly enjoy the Schadenfreude of an EV newbie making every possible mistake.) But for fellow rank beginners, I hope you can learn from my experience.

I’m not a total fool, so before booking the car, I checked the range on the model I was renting: Approximately 200 kilometers on a full charge. We were picking the car up in Milan, then driving to a B&B near Alba (about 175 km away), where we’d be joyriding and day-tripping for a few days. Our B&B had a charger, so I knew we’d be set once there. The question was: Would we be able to get all the way down there? Preoccupied with booking the many details of my trip, I brushed that concern aside. Eh, whatever. We’ll figure it out.

I may not be a total fool…but I am certainly on the fool spectrum, because I failed to do anywhere near enough homework until we picked up the car. As she handed over the keys, the rental agent offered a grave warning: “You know the range is much lower on the highway…right?” Still in denial, we drove away from Milan and headed for our reserved lunch in beautiful Piedmont, cruising along the expressway at 130 kilometers per hour. But it soon became clear that our vacation was not immune to the laws of science. The “projected range” number on our dashboard began dropping precipitously…very nearly at a rate of two “kilometers to go” wiped out for every kilometer we traveled.

It soon became clear that there was no way we’d make it anywhere near our B&B on a single charge. And even our lunch stop, about midway there, was looking questionable.

This was the first of many stark lessons in driving an EV: The “optimal” range is for in-city driving, which continuously recharges the battery as you brake. On an expressway, however, the vehicle absolutely gobbles your battery. When you think about it, this makes perfect sense: You’re asking a lot of that electric motor to keep those wheels spinning at top speed. But it’s counter-intuitive to someone who’s driven gas-powered cars my entire life, and who’s absorbed the immutable rule that you get better mileage on the highway.

I should add, in hot weather, the battery drains even faster…for the same reason, which I’ve never fully understood, that my phone battery dies quickly on a beach vacation. And on this September day, the outside temperature was an unseasonably warm 90 degrees. (Obviously-in-retrospect, it did not help that we were also blasting the AC.)

We did make it to lunch. Rather than savoring three different delectable risottos, I spent most of that meal frantically researching our predicament on my phone. Searching for top-up options, I was horrified to see that a basic home charger might take as long as 22 hours to fully charge our car. (I briefly imagined scrambling to find a crummy roadside hotel, somewhere near a charging station, instead of the idyllic B&B we’d booked.) My panic subsided as I learned that there are different speeds of chargers. Most common are 22 kWh (kilowatt hours); to fully charge our car on one of those, it could still take a few hours. But when I searched for “fast EV charger,” I found some that were 110 kWh, which — I hoped — could fully charge our car in less than an hour.

Between the second and third courses, I located a fast (110 kWh) charging station about a 20-minute drive from our restaurant, in the direction of our B&B. After we finished eating, we headed out. Let me tell you, that was a harrowing trip. When the battery charge meter crossed below 20%, it began flashing yellow. At 10%, it went red. Soon after, we pulled into the hot asphalt parking lot of a gas station, in a particularly ugly industrial zone — and lo and behold, there was the charging station. (Cue angelic voices and miraculous sunbeams.)

In order to use the charger, I had to first download an app on my phone, then create a profile, and then add a credit card to my account. At that point I was able to active the charger and plug it into my thirsty car. We held our breath until…bingo! The Fiat was charging.

Charging the car from just under 10% to 100% took approximately 45 minutes. We went into the little gas station café and ordered a couple of cappuccinos, while I watched the charging progress on my app. (Another lesson I learned was that the first 80% is much faster than the last 20%. However, we were just far enough from our B&B that we did not want to take any more chances on a less-than-full battery.) Once it hit “full,” we hopped in and drove the rest of the way to our B&B…only about an hour later than we’d hoped.

A long expressway journey was, clearly, entirely the wrong use case for a small EV. But once we were at our destination, we adored our little electric car. Our B&B had two chargers available, and our gracious host, Fausto, let us use them for free.

Fausto was also extremely patient with how green we were — and I mean “green” not in the “environmentally conscious” sense, but in the “clueless beginner in desperate need of education” sense. One night, I plugged in our car, locked it, and went to bed. The next morning Fausto kindly explained that, once the car is locked, the charger cannot be removed. A fellow guest with a plug-in hybrid had to wait for me to unlock the car and free up the charger. While he was charging his car, this jovial German said to us, “You’re very bold for taking a fully electric car on a trip like this. That’s why I have a hybrid. I don’t need that kind of stress.” (Golly, thanks for the tip!)

We spent the next few days joyriding around hill towns, rustic restaurants, and remote wineries. We learned quickly that EVs love hilly terrain — which is as good for your range as expressway driving is bad for it. Anytime we were braking or going downhill — which we did a lot — it recharged our battery (slowly). It became a fun challenge to see how far we could go without our battery level dipping. My wife became an expert in driving to maximize our charge. The “scenic route,” over the hills and above vineyards, is even sweeter when it also tops up your fuel supply.

That said, driving an EV certainly changed the way we planned our time. We became paranoid about running out of charge at an inopportune moment. One day, we felt very risky driving to a city about 50 minutes away. As it turned out, we made it there and back easily — and, thanks to the hilly terrain, had plenty left “in the tank” to extend our drive to a nearby wine village.

There’s an old joke that “FIAT” stands for “Fix it again, Tony.” At one point, when we were scrutinizing our battery percentage while trying to decide if we could risk taking a scenic detour on the way home, we decided that they should change the name to CIAT: Charge it again, Tony.

On the other hand, from a philosophical point of view, it’s a healthy thing to be so aware of the fuel we consume as we travel. Every kilometer you drive burns energy, and takes some sort of toll on the environment. I have never been so keenly aware of this as when I was driving that little car.

Our B&B’s charger made life easy, allowing us to start each day topped up. But when we needed to charge on the road, we were impressed by the extensive EV charger network in this part of Italy. The most abundant ones were accessed through the Be Charge app, which — once set up — was easy to use. However, most of the chargers we found were the slower 22 kWh version (which would take something like 3-4 hours to fully charge our car), with only a few faster 110 kWh ones (which took 45 minutes or less).

Our big challenge was the return trip. My wife had a late-morning flight from Milan’s airport, which was about 175 kilometers (a 90-minute drive) from our B&B — within the Fiat’s theoretical optimal range, but, as we now knew all too well, far below its actual highway range. We plotted out a fast 110 kWh charger about halfway there, which should be just right to make the entire trip with just one recharge. This forced us to get up and take off an hour earlier than we’d have been able to with a gas-powered car. (This doesn’t sound too bad. But when you’re talking about getting up at 5:30 instead of 6:30, that’s a painful adjustment.)

We topped up our battery overnight, took off before dawn, and — just a few minutes after the sun rose above the horizon — pulled off at the fast charger I’d located. It was in the middle of an industrial zone, down a parkway from a giant furniture store, with not a soul in sight — extra-deserted since it was Sunday morning. During the 40 minutes it took us to hit 100%, we sat in the car, having a makeshift breakfast from leftover groceries. And then we were off — making it to the airport, and dropping off the car, in plenty of time.

I should note that our EV experiment was also a money-saver. The base price of the rental was about the same as it would have been for a gas-powered Fiat 500. But the fuel was drastically less. The car came fully charged. Our B&B let us use their charging station for free (though I’m guessing you’d pay at many others). The two times we did use a public charger, it cost about $12 for a rapid charge from 10% or 20% to 100%. And we were able to return it “empty” (just under 20%) with no penalty. So our total cost for fuel on this trip — 660 kilometers, or just over 400 miles — was less than $25. Based on my rough figuring, gas for that same journey would’ve cost well above $100.

In the end, despite a couple of hours of drama that first day — and the early departure the last day — I was glad to have had the experience of renting an EV in Europe. I’d do it again, under the right circumstances. And it got us thinking even more seriously that our next car back home should be an EV.

That said, if you’re considering renting an EV for a European trip, here are the points I’d take carefully into consideration:

  • An EV works best for in-city or in-region countryside driving, rather than a big, point-to-point road trip. Unless you enjoy the adventure of finding charging stations, and don’t mind waiting around for the car to charge, don’t attempt using an EV for a long-distance trip…especially on your first time out.
  • I’d only rent an EV if I were confident that all of my lodgings had easy, on-site access to a charger — and only if I could pick up the car relatively near where I’m staying. (In retrospect, my biggest mistake was underestimating how challenging that 175-kilometer initial drive would be for my EV’s range.)

  • Do some homework to fully understand the model EV that you’re renting. What’s the “optimal” range, and — more important — how is that affected by being on the highway, hot or cold weather, and so on? I had perhaps the “worst-case” scenario: an older-model (late-2010s) Fiat 500e. The optimal range is just over 200 km, but even when charged to 100%, it never showed more than 180 km available — and on a hot day on the expressway, we could barely make it more than 100 km. I understand that this particular car is known for its limited range; in fact, even Fiat’s own newer EVs have better batteries and longer ranges. And, of course, Teslas and other premium EVs are many times better still. (On the other hand, renting a Tesla costs a pretty penny — well beyond my budget.)

  • Be very clear on the availability of public charging stations in the areas you’re visiting, should you need them — not only whether there are enough of them, and where they are, but how fast they are. For a relatively speedy, on-the-way top-up, look for a 110 kWh or better charger; the charger at your accommodations can be slower, for overnight charges. Northern Italy impressed us with its widespread availability of charging stations. But, as the saying goes (and this time quite literally), “your mileage may vary”: I imagine there are parts of Europe (and vast swaths of the United States) where you’d simply be out of luck.
  • Also be clear on how to access public charging stations. In Italy, most options appeared to be through Be Charge. Their app made it easy to find chargers, know how fast they were, and even see whether they were currently in use. However, you must have the app installed — and decent Internet access on your phone — in order to activate the charger once you’re there.  I was expecting that I’d be able to “tap” a credit card at the terminal when I got there. But — in the case of these chargers, at least — I was surprised to find that payment and use was available only through the app. Of course, in other parts of Europe, other companies may dominate. Do your homework, download the app(s) you need, and set them up before you need them.

With all of those points in mind…happy EV traveling! While it’s a little scary to be so steep on the learning curve, in the end I’m glad to better understand the all-electric car option — especially because, I imagine, EVs will become more and more accessible to travelers in the coming years. And next time, I’ll make smarter use of this exciting technology.

The Italian Airport Experience: A User’s Guide

I recently dropped my wife off at Milan’s Linate Airport for her flight home. Accompanying her inside to the check-in line, I was reminded of the many experiences I’ve had at Italian airports over the last year or so: Venice, Bologna, Florence, Treviso, Naples. All of them were eerily similar…and uniquely vexing. Curious, I did some research and discovered the following explanation, of uncertain origin, which finally helped me understand why Italian airports work the way they do. I hope you find this as enlightening as I did.

Welcome to the Italian Airport System! We are very pleased that you have chosen to patronize one of our many fine ports of entry. Here are a few pointers to help you make the most of your Italian Airport Experience.

Are you departing from an Italian Airport, and wondering how far ahead you need to arrive? Good news: Thanks to our egalitarian and efficient check-in system, it matters not one bit whether you arrive three hours before your flight, or thirty minutes. At the check-in line, we call up anyone departing on a flight sooner than yours to jump to the front of the line, regardless of how many other passengers have already been waiting, or for how long. This is our patented “Last Arrivals Go First” Protocol™.

Here at the Italian Airport System, we believe spontaneity should be rewarded! And we also place a premium on the importance of sleep; those who rise early to have “plenty of time at the airport” richly earn the frustration provided by our “Last Arrivals Go First” Protocol™. We also believe our Protocol is theologically sound: As is written in the Gospel according to Matthew, “The last [to arrive at the airport] shall be first [to get to their plane], and first last.”

The result: Go ahead and arrive several hours early, if you like. This will provide you with ample opportunity to stand still, observing a sea of humanity pass you by while contemplating the life choices that have brought you to this moment. To enhance this sensation, we have introduced our 10 Minute Guarantee™: At this phase in the Protocol, each passenger in line ahead of you will be processed in no fewer than 10 minutes.

To complete our Italian Airport Check-In Experience, we’ve pinpointed the precise moment at which the typical passenger descends into panic with the realization that there’s just no way they can make their flight. And then…we wait just a few minutes more. And then, our highly trained check-in agents click into action, suddenly becoming highly efficient professionals possessing a heretofore unobserved competence. With stunning speed, that 100-person line clears out — and each and every one of them hustles to the security line, to do it all over again.

On the topic of the security line, we have a very exciting announcement: After many years of fruitful negotiation with the governmental body responsible for security, they have agreed to implement the same “Last Arrivals Go First” Protocol™ that we use for the check-in line. That’s right: Rather than taking passengers in the order they arrive, those who are cutting it the closest will always skip right to the front.

The Italian Airport Experience hallmarks of spontaneity and surprises continue through the entire security check. First, our security agents will bark confusing orders about what you do, and don’t, need to remove from your bag. If you ask follow-up questions to seek clarity — for example, whether your Kindle or your big camera needs to come out of your carry-on — we strive to offer precisely the wrong answer. In this way, we guarantee that you will be treated to the complete Italian Security Check Experience of having all of your luggage pawed through and manhandled during a riveting secondary screening. Are you carrying sensitive electronic equipment, such as a fragile extra lens for your big camera? For your entertainment, we’ll toss it around in a display of frenetic juggling as we send it through the scanner again, and again, and again.

The Italian Airport System is proud to have some of the world’s most marvelous lounges. You’ll have to take our word for it, though, because our patented, double-stage “Last Arrivals Go First” Protocol™ guarantees that you’ll never have a single instant to spare, once you’ve cleared security. With this in mind, we have designed the entrances of our lounges to be some of the most beautiful and enticing on earth. That way, you’ll really know what you’re missing out on as you run past, shaking your head in disappointment.

The other thing you’ll rush past in an Italian Airport: shops selling outlandishly high-end items, from the most ostentatious jewelry to the finest perfumes to the most exclusive watches to cutting-edge fashions from the streets of Milan and Rome. Who would go shopping for such items at an airport?! is what you’ll be asking yourself as you run, soaked in flop-sweat, to your closing gate. It’s those little mysteries that bring life meaning, don’t you think?

As you can tell, one wonderful feature of the Italian Airport Experience is all the exercise it provides: standing, running, standing again, more running, more standing, hyperventilating, and so on. In order to enhance your cardiovascular stimulation, we endeavor to maintain our airport temperature just a little too hot, and the humid air just a little too sticky and stale. And, in the extremely rare event that you have a moment to sit down, we’ve ensured that the number of viable seats in any area of the airport is kept to an absolute minimum — extending to you the opportunity for yet more healthy standing around before boarding your flight.

Speaking of shopping: If you did some in Italy and need to process your Customs documentation to be eligible for a VAT refund, you may assume that we have implemented our “Last Arrivals Go First” Protocol™ there as well. Not so! Instead, we have engineered a special and unique-in-the-world system for our Customs verification process, which we have branded as The Immovable Line™. No matter how many people are standing in the line, or for how long, our agent has been trained to ruffle papers, stare at a computer, and make mysterious phone calls while somehow managing not to process one single customer. (Of course, the line does eventually move…in so far as, sooner or later, everyone gives up, throws their hands in the air, and retreats to the check-in line — where they are immediately treated to our original “Late Arrivals Go First” Protocol™.) It is through our Immovable Line Protocol™ that we ensure as much revenue as possible remains in Italy’s coffers.

That’s just a small flavor of the experience you are in store for, if you are departing from an Italian Airport. But what if you’re arriving here? Sadly, there’s only so much we can do to provide as miserable — excuse me, I meant to say “memorable” — an experience as we do for departing passengers. (We are particularly disappointed to observe the high numbers of passengers who carry their bags on the plane, allowing them to head directly to the exit.) But we still do our utmost to inject your arrival with a few hallmarks of the Italian Airport Experience.

One of our great regrets at the Italian Airports System is that, although we strive to meet our goal of misplacing 100 percent of passenger bags, ultimately we must rely on the assistance of our partner Airport Systems. And so we are happy to announce that in 2022, airports across Europe have ramped up their efforts to ensure that as few bags as possible make it on to the correct airplane. We’d like to single out our Dutch colleagues at Amsterdam Schiphol Airport, who have achieved an exemplary and many-thought-impossible degree of mastery in the art of luggage loss.

Despite our best efforts, not every bag is lost in transit. But those that do arrive with your flight will appear at the luggage carousel as long after your landing time as possible. This provides ample time for arriving passengers to fully appreciate the Italian Airport Experience: the utter lack of seating…the unflinching, unfeeling, bureaucratic staff…the bewildering signage…the hot, moist air…the absurdly expensive shopping opportunities. We have ensured that any ATMs available in our baggage claim area (and, in some cases, on the entire premises of the airport) are not operated by banks, but by exchange bureaus that probe the human extremes of disadvantageous exchange rates. Passenger surveys indicate these aspects of the Italian Airport Experience are even more acute at the end of a seven-to-ten-hour, transatlantic flight.

If your bag is successfully lost by a partner Airport System, and fails to make it to our luggage carousels, first we ask you to wait approximately 30 to 60 minutes after the carousel stops spinning to ensure it doesn’t somehow magically appear. At this point, we will allow you to fill out the required paperwork to track your misplaced bag.

You might assume that we will deliver the bag to your hotel when it arrives. Think again! We are very pleased to have implemented our “No Bag, No Problem” Policy™: If you ever want to see your bag again, you’ll just have to wait around the airport until the next flight arrives from that destination — or make a special trip back to the airport later to claim your bag in person, if and when it ever appears. For you see, we know how special our Italian Airport Experience is for all of our passengers. And this increases the likelihood of an encore experience.

It is our hope that this helps clarify the many trademark features of the Italian Airport Experience. Remember our motto: Come early…come late…it doesn’t matter! Don’t ask why. Just accept it. You’ll suffer all the same either way.