The Mouth Cannot Be Finished until It Smells of Cows

Enjoying a dinner in one of my favorite Roman restaurants, I struck up a conversation with the couple at the next table, and eventually joined them. (It turned out they were Robert and Ina Caro; Robert is a two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning author for books on the Washington, DC power scene.) We were talking about how, in several of our favorite restaurants, the namesake owners eventually end up just shuffling around grating Parmesan cheese on their customers’ pasta. The restaurant is their life, their meaning, their persona, and it likely takes a toll on their family lives. As they grow older they really know nothing else.

We were talking about dessert with a man at a nearby table. I said, “For me, it’s cheese and a little more good red wine.” He told of how his grandfather always said, in local dialect, “La boca l’è minga straca se la spuza de vaca”— “the mouth cannot be finished until it smells of cows.” To the rustic foodie two generations ago, you must finish the meal with cheese.

The Caros were charming conversationalists and a joy to spend an evening with. I poured some of their water into my glass and was stunned at my first sip. The conversation was so stimulating, I just assumed they would be drinking their water frizzante(sparkling). I didn’t realize I was a snob about choice of water.

(By admitting to my bigotry in this area, I don’t mean to pre-empt my resident hecklers. Heckling is what makes London’s Speakers Corner so fun. And this blog is the Speakers’ Corner of my dreams.)

The Caros knew Paris very well but were in Rome for their first time. Ina described her first time in Rome like being well read and suddenly finding a great new author. I thought she was right (and that I should read more). I recalled the famous quote: “Living life without traveling is like having a great book and never turning the page.” Then I flipped it around: “Living life without reading is like having a passport but never using it.”

Either way, la vita è bella. Embrace it.

Wild Boar and Fried Brain

Studying Italian restaurants in the last week, I came up with some theories.

While I’ve never liked putting up with TV noise when grabbing a simple meal in Europe, I now realize that when an eatery has the TV playing, it’s often because it’s where the local workers drop by to eat…and that indicates a low price and a good value.

I’ve realized I should stay away from restaurants famous for inventing a pasta dish. Alfredo (of fettuccini fame) and Carbonara are both Roman restaurants, and they’re both much more famous than they are good. And seeing how the back lanes of Rome are clogged with cars has inspired me to think a little about adopting a diet that won’t clog my arteries. (But not until after this trip.)

Italy’s no-smoking rules have caused some bars to stop serving drinks earlier than before. That’s because now that they have to be smoke-free, young drinkers who want a cigarette take their drink outside…which disturbs neighbors who didn’t hear the action back when people stayed (and smoked) inside. Neighbors complain, and bars comply.

The other day I was talking about styles of guiding with an Italian tour guide. He explained that guides here all know that when dealing with cruise-ship travelers or Americans, the more jokes you tell, the more tips you get. This shapes many guides’ delivery.

Italians are pretty excited about Fiat having purchased Chrysler, given Fiat’s hybrid technology and passion for fuel efficiency. I’ve spent two days in the last week with guides driving tough, economic little four-wheel-drive Fiat Pandas. They love them and predict that Americans will be driving small European-style cars in the future. I know when many Americans hear the word Fiat they think “Fix It Again Tony”… but it’s not your grandmother’s Fiat any more.

For the first time I encountered a guest house that chose not to install phones in its rooms because nearly all their guests travel with cell phones now.

While I pride myself in not needing to dress up to enjoy a good restaurant, there is a limit. I was in a restaurant yesterday where a couple of American travelers made me get my notebook out and jot down, “Even in a modest trattoria, shorts and T-shirts look goofy at dinner.”

Italian TV actually broadcasts Obama speeches and press conferences live — Italians remain enamored with our president. Part of their fascination with Obama is that it stokes their dream that they can replace their cartoonish president, Berlusconi, someday soon.

My American friend Annie, and her Italian husband, took me out to a great restaurant in Volterra. The waiter recommended the day’s specials: wild boar and fried brain. I’ve had lots of wild boar, as it’s big throughout Tuscany. And for the last few days I’ve had a fried brain, too.

 

Annie’s baby is bilingual. She says “Yummy liver” in Italian to her daddy and in English to her mommy.
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Annie has the cutest little two-year-old. Annie said parents raising bilingual children here figure their kids will at first fall six months behind linguistically, as they grapple with the confusion of double language input. But, by the age of five, most bilingual children are ahead of other kids their age in each language. As for little Julia, she was wondering why English words don’t end in vowels like all of her dad’s words. She says “clock-o,” “ghost-o,” and “dog-o.”

A Carnivore in Tuscany and a Blacksmith in Hell

Since Rome I’ve had a busy week, visiting a series of stony cities — each historic and, it seems, made entirely of stone. Most have Etruscan foundations, plenty of ancient Roman stones still standing, and a thousand years of pride and paranoia stacked and weathered in whatever is quarried nearby. Orvieto, Civita de Bagnoregio, Assisi, Cortona, Montepulciano, Montalcino, and now Volterra – most of them touristy, but late at night, they’re all the domain of mostly locals — polishing their stones with convivial promenades.

I sat under rustic, noble, Volterra stones tonight — bats bursting through the floodlights, ghostly towers held together with rusted iron corsets, a stony bench cold on my butt at the base of palaces that made commoners feel small six centuries ago.

These stones have soul. The countless peasant backs they bent so many centuries ago gave to future generations the architectural equivalent of fine wines, something to be savored and pondered in solitary moments like the one I just enjoyed.

 

Giulio brings a slab of steak to the customer for an okay to cook it up.
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I’m in Tuscany, so proud of its beef — last night I sunk my teeth into a carnivore’s dream come true. In a stony cellar, under one long, tough vault, I joined a local crowd. The scene was powered by an open fire in the far back of the vault. Flickering in front of the flames was a gurney, upon which lay a hunk of beef the size of a small human corpse. Like a blacksmith in hell, Giulio — a lanky man in a T-shirt — hacked at the beef with a cleaver, lopping off a steak every few minutes.

In a kind of mouth-watering tango, he pranced past the boisterous tables of eaters, holding above the commotion, like a tray of drinks, the raw slab of beef on butcher’s paper. Giulio presented the slabs to each table of diners, telling them the weight and price (€3 per hundred grams, one kilo — the minimum is about $40) and getting their OK to cook it. He’d then dance back to the inferno and cook the slab: seven minutes on one side, seven on the other. There’s no asking how you’d like it done; thisis the way it is done. And about 15 minutes later, you got steak.

When the meal’s done, Giulio pulls the pencil out of his ponytail and scribbles your bill on the paper table cloth. The beef goes with the hearty red wine here in Tuscany. “It’s tradition here to serve only one glass for water and wine,” Giulio explained, as if to keep the humble tradition of old-time trattorias alive. The single glass was the only downside. It was a fine dinner — and will make a vivid memory (and great addition to my Italy guidebook).

La vita è bella…life is good in Italy. And the good life seems, like the cuisine, simple. Locals are really into the “marriage” of correct foods. An older wine needs a stronger cheese. Only a tourist would pull the fat off the prosciutto.

To me, the cuisine is a symphony — it’s like music. The ingredients are the instruments. The quality is important…but even good instruments can be out of tune. The marriage of the ingredients is what provides the tonality. I’m not sophisticated enough to explain what’s good or bad. But when things are in tune, you taste it.

Fried Air and Big Fans in Rome

Flying from northwest Spain to Rome, my discount airline had a 10-kilo carry-on limit. I don’t recall ever actually weighing my bag when packing…but it turns out it was exactly 10 kilos (22 pounds).

I had a special reason to pack light on this trip. A month ago I flew to Europe — a bit nervously — one week after a hernia operation. Ten kilos was about all I could hoist. My doctor said there was no hurry to get it fixed, but I love feeling healthy when traveling…I didn’t want to travel feeling like bits of my guts were popping out like naughty chicks in an open basket. After a month on the treadmill of Iberia, I’m fit as a flamenco guitar.

Landing in Rome, I tried to stay mentally in Spain until I got all those guidebook files finalized and emailed back to my ETBD editors. But I failed. It’s so exciting to research this great city.

Rome has a fixed taxi rate: €40 to and from the airport. On the curb a big, new, officious sign (next to the €40 sign) said the trip cost €60. I asked a cabbie what he charged; he said €60 to the center. It seemed like a scam. Later I quizzed an honest cabbie; he explained that while city cabs are limited to €40, regional cabs can charge €60 because they’ll have to dead-head back out of the city. Many dishonest city cabs seize the opportunity to point to the sign and charge tourists €60. Any cab with “SPQR” on the door is a city cab and legally can only charge €40. Scam scuttled.

My theme this trip is to help travelers stretch their dollars and maximize their experience. Rather than opt for the taxi default (i.e. just pay the €40 and get right to my hotel), I decided to do the smart budget move and rely on public transit. I paid €11 to zip into town on the train and €16 for a one-week transit pass, which will cover all my bus, metro and tram travel in Rome for my stay. And I had €13 left over to go shopping and stock my hotel pantry with five days worth of juice, water, fruit, veggies and munchies. (I was impressed by what I lugged up to my room for little more than the cost of a plate of pasta.) It took me less than an hour door-to-door (from the airplane, to the train, to the central station, onto the bus and then a 100 yard-walk to my hotel).

I’ve been here four days now and only just stepped into the Pantheon. It was literally the most crowded I’ve ever seen it — a human traffic jam slowly flowing in, then out, with parents holding their little ones high as if to make sure they had enough air. I haven’t even seen the Colosseum, Forum, or St. Peter’s yet. I’m doing lots of hotels, restaurants and odd sights that are new to me or that I haven’t seen in over a decade (my researchers visit these places annually, when I can’t).

With my favorite local guide, Francesca, I revisited Ostia Antica (Rome’s ancient seaport, which rivals Pompeii and is a simple 30-minute side trip by train from downtown) and polished up my self-guided walk, in hopes of producing an audio tour covering this site this winter. We rented bikes for a pedal through the Villa Borghese. And, even though she hates the Cappuccin Crypt (with its thousands of neatly stacked human bones, designed artfully to remind us vacationers of our mortality), I got her to take me through it, and to translate the descriptions in each boney chapel for my new guidebook edition. (One chapel has a clock, without hands, made of bones — the explanation reads, “once Sister Death takes you there, the afterlife is eternal…there is no time.”)

With each Rome visit, I book a driver for an entire day. I generally line up all the hotels in town I need to visit in smart order on a page, and we systematically visit each one. With a car I can do three days’ work in a single day. This time, I spliced in three far-away sights I had yet to see: the Museum of the Roman Resistance (about the citizens’ heroics during the Nazi occupation), the Auditorium (a wonderful contemporary “park of music” concert venue designed by Renzo Piano — outside of town but clearly the way to connect with Rome’s culture scene), and the Catacombs of Priscilla (the cute, intimate, least visited — and now my favorite — of the catacombs).

At Ostia, I was frustrated with the worthless descriptions posted throughout the site. I read several, hoping to beef up my existing guidebook coverage. The words were many but worthless. I commented to Francesca that only in Italy are fancy guides called “docents,” and that the only place in Europe I’ve ever actually heard the English word “didactic” used is here in Italy — and from people trying to impress me. Francesca taught me the Roman concept of aria fritta — literally “fried air.” The phrase describes any wording, that’s, like these descriptions, greasy and heavy but contains nothing of value. Much of what tourists read and hear in Italy is aria fritta.

My challenge is to recommend guides that give meaning to the sights without being “didactic.” Rome’s walking-tour companies are many and hard working, but they frustrate me here. I meet lots of tourists here using my guidebooks and quiz them about their experiences. When one couple said, “We just took a tour from so-and-so’s company,” I asked “And how was it?” — because I had been concerned about the quality of teaching by that outfit’s guides. They said, “The guide was a sweet 23 year old Irish kid. He rattled off dates like you couldn’t imagine. And at the Vatican Museum, he showed us how, in one tapestry, the eyes of the guy follow you when you walk across the room. He joked that ‘Maybe it’s the carabinieri.’ In another tapestry, the table actually did the same illusion trick. It followed us across the room!” That was exactly what I’d feared. They loved the tour, but I think, while they were entertained, they learned almost nothing of value.

Yesterday, I spent two hours on another company’s tour and lived through one of my biggest pet peeves: guides who tell stories of things that happened in that neighborhood (with plenty of professorial qualifiers), but don’t tie the wealth of visuals surrounding you to the people living there, past and present.

You can read a book without flying to Rome. A walking tour (which costs triple the price of that book) should connect you vividly to the place: Sit on a threshold worn by the nervous heels of a century of prostitutes…eating a fava bean picked up from the market that, for a thousand years, has sold local peasants their standard green…under the watchful eyes of a hooded heretic whose statue reminds you that he was burned on this spot because this neighborhood — even with that papal palace looking down on it — was filled with trouble makers. And this neighborhood remains, to this day, Rome’s center of non-conformity.

I visited one café which I like and recommend, in spite of its lousy food, because it’s cheap, friendly, shady, and far from the tourists while close to the Colosseum. They’ve started advertising a “Rick Steves menu”: pasta, a hamburger, and a Coke. I told them that’s no Rick Steves menu. Updating this book is like weeding a massive garden.

Hiking back to my hotel, I met a couple both dressed as if out of a safari catalog and each very short. They got really excited and (in Lollipop Guild unison) said, “We’re your biggest fans.”

Translucent Pigs’ Ears and Eating the Sea: Good Morning in Santiago

I’m tucked away in Santiago de Compostela, in the northwest corner of Spain. It’s my last day here before flying to Rome. I have a three-part agenda: see pilgrims reach their goal in front of the cathedral, explore the market, and buy some barnacles in the seafood section — then have them cooked for me, on the spot, in a café.

Whenever I’m here, I make a point to be on the big square, at the foot of the towering cathedral of St. James, at around 10 in the morning. That’s when scores of well-worn pilgrims march in triumphantly from their last overnight on the train — most finishing a 30-day, 500-mile hike from the French border. They finish their camino by stepping on the scallop shell embedded in the pavement at the foot of the cathedral. I just love watching how different people handle jubilation.

If Europe had a rain forest, it would be here. But instead it has a city made of granite painted green by moss. The historic and stony buildings of Santiago come in a watercolor green. Rainy as it often is, this morning the church is back-lit by the rising sun and, looking up, the weary pilgrim squints…small before God.

Routinely, pilgrims ask me to take their photo and email it to them. Then they say, “I’ve got to go meet with St. James” and — as has been the routine for a thousand years — they head into the cathedral.

Two blocks away, the market is thriving, oblivious to the personal triumphs going on over at St. James’ tomb. There’s something about wandering through a farmers market early in the morning anywhere in the world. It’s a chance to observe the most fundamental commerce: Salt-of-the-earth people pull food out of the ground, cart it into the city, and sell what they’ve harvested to people who don’t have gardens.

 

A yummy box of pigs’ ears. Buy them tonight at your favorite tapas bar.
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Dried-apple grandmothers line up like a babushka can-can. Each sits on a stool so small it disappears under her work dress. At the women’s feet are brown woven baskets filled like cornucopias — still-dirty eggs in one; in the next, greens clearly pulled this morning, soil clinging to their roots. One woman hopes to earn a few extra euros with homebrews — golden bottles with ramshackle corks — one named “licor café,” the other, more mysteriously, “oruzo casero.”

Another row of babushkas in shawls sit before rickety card tables filled with yellow cheeses shaped like giant Hershey’s Kisses…or, to locals, breasts. The local cheese is called tetilla — that’s “tits” — to revenge a prudish priest who, seven centuries ago, told a sculptor at the cathedral to redo a statue that he considered too buxom. Ever since, the townsfolk have shaped their cheese like exactly what the priest didn’t want them to see carved in stone. And you can’t go anywhere in Santiago without seeing cheese tetilla. In fact the town is famous for its creamy, mild tetilla.

Stepping further into the market, I notice spicy red chorizo chains framing merchants’ faces. Chickens, plucked and looking rubber as can be, fill glass cases. The sound of cascading clams and castanet shrimp — red, doomed, and flipping mad — greets me as I enter the seafood hall. Fisherwomen in rubber aprons and matching gloves sort through folding money.

There’s a commotion at the best stalls. Short ladies with dusty, blue-plaid roller carts jostle for the best deals. A selection of pigs’ ears mixed with hooves going nowhere fills a shoebox. The ears, translucent in the low rays of the morning sun, look as if someone had systematically and neatly flattened and filed conch shells.

 

Barnacles are very expensive unless you buy them in the market and have them cooked to order. They’re worth both the expense and trouble.
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I buy my percebes(barnacles) — at €25 a kilo, they’re one-third the price I’d pay in a bar. I get 200 grams for €5 and hustle my full bag over to the market café called Churro Mania. There, Ramon and Julia boil them for €3 per person, plus 10 percent of the cost of whatever you have them cook up. Feeling quite like a local — sipping my beer so early in the morning — I wait for my barnacles to cook.

Then, the climax of my morning: Julia brings my barnacles, stacked steaming on their stainless steel plate, as well as bread, and another beer. I’m set. Twist, rip, bite. It’s the bounty of the sea condensed into every little morsel…edible jubilation.