To me, consumer travel shows are carnivals of crass materialism. Walking the halls, I wonder how many of the participants really believe in what they’re selling. Sure, there’s good information hiding — but it’s a challenge for a visitor to sort through the advertising to find it. Slaloming past human Statues of Liberty and boy-toy human peacocks marathon-dancing to steel drum bands, I considered the various slogans tourist boards and travel companies posted to lure potential travelers to their booths.
Puerto Rico — No passport required. (Why would a traveler want one of those?)
Rock N Roll Fantasy Camp. (Imagine lunching with Elvis look-alikes on your next vacation.)
Jamaica — Once you go…you know. (You do?)
Eldertreks — Exotic adventures for travelers 50 and over. (I made it…old enough for a tour company with “elder” in its name.)
Nevis — Everything you’ve heard is true. (Can “nothing” be true? I learned it’s an island in the Caribbean…apparently a nice one.)
Bimini Bay — A paradise beyond imagination. (They underestimate me.)
Israel — Who knew? (Is there something I should know?)
Fiji Me. (Kalamazoo you.)
LOT Polish Airlines — You’re under our wing. (How does it smell?)
Air Ambulance Card — We bring you home. (No thanks.)
At the Saxony tourism booth, at first I saw no sign or slogan, just two men in black suits.
Still, each year we ship our best tour salespeople and tons of brochures to these shows (in Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York)…getting the word out to people who come by the booth to say, “You’re taller than you look on TV. I love your TV show and we never miss your radio podcast. Oh, I didn’t know you did tours.” I fly home thinking, “I guess travel shows are worth the effort.”