Naked Cartoon Characters in Germany

Yesterday, in two hours, I saw more penises than I’ve seen in the last two years. All extremely relaxed…and, I must say, I was struck by the variety.

Since the Roman emperor soaked in the mineral waters of Baden-Baden, the German spa town has welcomed those in need of a good soak. And it’s always naked. In the 19th century, this was Germany’s ultimate spa resort, and even today the name Baden-Baden is synonymous with relaxation in a land where the government still pays its overworked citizens to take a little spa time.

I happened to be here when one of our tour groups was in town. I told the guide what a great opportunity for her group to enjoy the spa. She said, “No one’s going. They can’t handle the nudity.”

It’s long been a frustration with me as a guide — getting Americans into spas with naked Europeans. My first time was with my wife and some German friends — a classy, good-looking young couple. We were swept into the changing area with no explanation. Suddenly they were naked and I felt like Road Runner just beyond the cliff’s edge. Then — we eased up, and got naked. It’s not sexy…simply open and free.

Whether on a Croatian beach, in a Finnish sauna, a Turkish hammam, or a German spa (I can’t come up with an English example), a fun part of travel can be getting naked with strangers. (Am I right here? What travel memories can you share?)

For me, there are delightful road bumps in my intense research schedule–wonderful God-sent detours where I put away the schedule and notes and simply enjoy the moment. The Friedrichsbad in Baden-Baden is one of those fine little breaks. And today, I needed it: city after city, still reeling from Berlin, with lots of inputting into my laptop. I don’t care how far behind I am in my writing. Now it was spa time.

Wearing only the locker key strapped around my wrist, I weighed myself — 92 kilos. The attendant led me under the industrial-strength shower — a torrential kickoff pounding my head and shoulders…obliterating the rest of the world. He then gave me slippers and a towel, ushering me into a dry heat room with fine wooden lounges — slats too hot without the towel. Staring up at exotic tiles of herons and palms, I cooked. After more hot rooms punctuated with showers came the massage.

Like someone really drunk, going for one more glass, I climbed gingerly onto the marble slab and lay belly-up. The masseuse held up two brillo-pad mitts and asked, “Hard or soft?” In the spirit of wild abandon, I said “hard,” not even certain what that would mean to my skin. I got the coarse brillo-pad scrub-down.

I was so soaped up, he held my arms like a fisherman holds a salmon so I wouldn’t slip away. As if my body was any different to him than the dozens he rubs down every day, funny thoughts went through my mind. It was still extremely relaxing.

Finished with a Teutonic spank, I was sent off into the pools. Nude, without my glasses, and not speaking the language, I was gawky. On a sliding scale between Mr. Magoo and Woody Allen, I was everywhere. Steam rooms, cold plunges…it all led to the mixed section.

This is where the Americans get uptight. The parallel spa facilities intersect as both men and women share the finest three pools. Here, all are welcome to glide under exquisite domes in perfect silence like aristocratic swans. Germans are nonchalant, tuned into their bodies and focused on solitary relaxation. Tourists are tentative, trying to be cool…but more aware of their nudity. Again, there’s nothing sexy about it…just vivid life in full flower.

A beautiful woman glides in front of me. Like a female flotilla, her peaceful face and buoyant breasts cruise by, creating barely a ripple. It occurs to me that I wouldn’t mind talking to her. But you don’t really just start up a conversation with a naked stranger. What would you say–“Nice domes”? Then she starts walking into the men’s section. Perfect. I whisper to her, “Excuse me, that’s the men’s section.” She was from Texas…and appreciative.

The climax is the cold plunge. I’m not good with cold water — yet I absolutely love this. You must not wimp out on the cold plunge.

Then, the attendant escorted me into the “quiet room” and asked if I’d like to be awoken at any time. I told him at closing time. He wrapped me in hot sheets and a brown blanket. No, I wasn’t wrapped…I was swaddled. Warm, flat on my back, among twenty hospital-type beds — only one other bed was occupied…he seemed dead. I stared up at the ceiling and some time later was jolted awake by my own snore.

Leaving, I weighed myself again: 91 kilos. I had shed 2.2 pounds of sweat. It would have been more if tension had mass. Stepping into the cool evening air, I was thankful my hotel was a level two-block stroll away. Like Gumby, flush and without momentum, I fell…slow motion onto my down comforter, big pillow puffing around my head like the flying nun. Wonderfully naked under my clothes, I could only think, “Ahhhh. Baden-Baden.”

Comments

53 Replies to “Naked Cartoon Characters in Germany”

  1. Rick, I accidentally ended up at a nude beach in Croatia a few years ago. There were only about 20 people there (mostly german actually) and and first I was really uncomfortable. About 5 minutes later I realized that it didn’t matter and had a lovely day at one of the best beaches I’ve even been to. -alison

  2. How perfect! What a way to relax! Too bad we Americans are still (on the whole) so very Puritanical about our bodies. To be able to relax so thoroughly would certainly be a high point of any vacation. Thanks, Rick, for sharing it with us.

  3. Rick, I don’t think I could do it. I saw you and your wife on your show at Baden-Baden. It seems like fun. Thanks for giving me a great start to my day. Best wishes…

  4. I enjoyed this blog about your spa. The analogy of Mr McGoo and Woody Allen was a great visual. While I haven’t done any nude beach bathing yet in Croatia, I expect to this September. It was too cold to be naked in March. Ha! I, too, have never completely understood Americans discomfort with their bodies. We certainly spend plenty of time “sexing” them up. As a former river guide I can say with certainty that at least among most river guides you won’t find people unconfortable with their bodies. They are the first to get stripped down for a hot springs and the last to leave. I hope I can afford a spa treatment such as you wrote. Thanks for sharing, though some may dub this TMI!

  5. We’re heading to Vienna and Northern Italy in late Sept. Are there any similar type spas there? I would love to pamper myself that way–after all, it’s vacation! Thanks for the blog–it’s always a treat to read them.

  6. Been there – Done that. It is just as you describe. I go with my German Son-in Law to the “Sauna” on Friday nights when in Germany. That’s mixed night and everyone is in their B-day suit. Young and old, some very old, all together having a relaxing evening.

  7. My wife and I did the Friedrichsbad in Baden-Baden last December. It was absolutely fantastic! Nowhere in America can you get that kind of spa treatment for 29 euros! Everything you said was exactly right. Anyone who is just too uptight to take advantage of the spa is just sad. You’re missing out on a great experience. It would be like going to Vegas and not seeing a show. It’s Baden-Baden, so take advantage!

  8. Early in WW II, Allied diplomats who were captured in countries invaded by the Germans, found themselves in custody in the famous Baden-Baden hotels. A State Department employee, who had been assigned to the United States Embassy in Paris, told us they were treated very well indeed during the months of internment. The diplomats were permitted to go shopping and roam around the town, but always with a German guard not far behind. The residents of Baden-Baden were very happy to have the diplomats in their town — they were confident the Allies would not bomb Baden-Baden. This State Department official spent most of the war in Lisbon, and told an intriguing story. He raced across Spain at break-neck speed, talked his way across the French border, then raced to Paris so he could be the first American to re-enter our Embassy after the Germans were thrown out of Paris. (1985)

  9. Rick I am glad you enjoyed yourself but there are enough other things for us to enjoy in Europe for those who really have no desire to see penises relaxed or otherwise. Frankly many people look way better with clothes on.After your comment about the Texas lady’s nice “domes” I wouldn’t feel comfortable with such sexist remarks from you or anyone else to want to appear nude.Would you want someone saying nice “stick” to you.I am really a little surprised at you but maybe you feel the need to reach a younger audience and thought that would help. It didn’t. I do like your guide books but not so much your blogging.

  10. We have been to the Friedsbad Baths several times over the past few years. Our grown children always smile a little when we tell them we went to Baden Baden again. We normally try to go on the “mixed” days and enjoy the quiet and polite atmosphere. Although not for everyone it is always relaxing, plesant and as you described.

  11. PJ: Lighten up. It’s not about gawking at others; it’s about your own relaxation and rejuvination. Besides, the woman from Texas Rick mentions probably works hard to keep her figure and would probably be flattered to know it is admired by others.

  12. Haven’t you always heard the line about nude beaches…the only people nude are the ones you really don’t want to see naked! Well, I don’t wish to add to that list! Way TMI for my taste… I’ll just relax reading about it!!!

  13. Rick, pay no attention to PJ. I for one have not laughed all day as hard as I did reading this blog, so thank you! In the true spirit of Europe, you talk about what is really going on, but you always do so with characteristic humor and lighthearted charm…something we all need in daily doses whether we have buoyant domes, relaxed penises, or are just enjoying a good Teutonic spank. I can’t wait to experience this kind of spa treatment on future Europe trips myself. Thanks again for the chortle.

  14. I’ve been dreaming of visiting a spa in Baden-Baden ever since I watched the episode about it. This post just reconfirms my desire. For you who are uptight about shedding your clothes I’m glad you are going to stay away. I certainly don’t want to deal with your sexual hangups while I’m trying to relax.

  15. Rick: Thanks for that absolutely hysterical account. We have German friends living here in the U.S., and the first time they went to a U.S. health club, the wife asked if the sauna was completely nude. The attendant was completely aghast at the question. Difference in cultures like this are fascinating, but I am completely baffled as to why this discussion has to contain jabs, some subtle and some not, at Americans for their attitudes about nudity. It is surely ironic for people to criticize such “hang-ups” in a forum that celebrates cultural differences. (By the way, would you believe that the anti-spam verification word that popped up when I submitted this post was “stiffest”?

  16. We left Rotterdam and sailed to London, then to Montreal, Canada. I’m sure you will understand why it wasn’t boring for me. Well, I love to travel on a ship, and in addition to Sweetie as my fascinating special Bunkmate, there was the tall, slender German lady who visited the Sauna almost as often as I did. Well Sweetie thought I was just making up this part of the story, so just guess how she was dressed, or rather … … . Rules were unambiguous, look but don’t touch. Never once recognized her face on the ship when she was dressed.

  17. As a Texas Gal’ I’m not the least insulted at Rick’s remark. I think Rick would laugh if a woman said “what a stick!” Knowing how Rick is, he is very out spoken about anything, and that is one of the many reasons I love him so much. Remember, they make em’ big in Texas, and that’s fine that Rick enjoys that. As for Rick wanting a younger audience, I’m middle aged and am a huge fan! Excuse the pun! Lisa P.

  18. With all due respect, I hope Rick’s massage doesn’t end up on any of his T.V shows. My wife and I love watching Rick’s shows during our meal, and frankly, seeing Rick soaped up, rubbed down, and spanked would pretty much kill our appetites. Thanks Rick and keep on traveling

  19. Hi, Rick! Glad to hear you’re enjoying Germany–Baden after Berlin. I don’t know what the Teutonic spank thing is for, but would love a handsome man massager to do that. :) Must be the grand finale to the massage–like the chocolate sauce on ice cream. The entire spa experience sounds wonderful!

  20. We took our two boys to Baden-Baden. The youngest was not allowed into the part of the spa where there was nudity. Our teenager and us unoffically made an agreement not to be in the same place at the same time. 10 years and many trips to Europe later that day at the spa is still one of the things our boys talk about – and NO not about the nudity but about the fun they had. Several years ago we where in Budapest and they insisted on going to a spa.

  21. My husband and I visit spas and saunas whenever we get the chance, and I agree, the average American attitude about nudity is really sad. But Rick’s comment about his glasses reminded me of a minor disaster on one of our trips. Our eyesight’s too poor to even consider walking around without glasses, so we even wear them in the swimming pool, unless we’re actually swimming laps. At most places we’ve been, there’s a shelf outside the steam room to leave glasses, since you can’t see through the steam anyway. But this place had no shelf, and the steam room was so hot that my husband’s glasses melted, leaving them unusable. (Good thing he had a spare set.) Mine were fine, but I’ll never take that chance again. From now on I’ll bring a little bag for them, that I can hang on the towel hooks. As for “seeing Rick soaped up, rubbed down, and spanked,” I don’t think I’d mind in the least. Nor do I mind my husband admiring “buoyant domes.” After all, part of travel is enjoying the scenery.

  22. You know, quite a few of the “free thinkers” commenting on this interesting and entertaining blog seem very quick to characterize those unfortunate souls who prefer not to be nude with strangers as sad, sexually hung up, uptight, Puritanical, or uncomfortable with their bodies. Maybe they’re just shy, or have other reasons for the way they feel. They should not be ridiculed for an aversion to public nudity. I’ve never been to one of these spas, but I think I would be ok with the nudity. Rick is trying to teach us to be tolerant and enlightened toward other cultures. Perhaps we should be more tolerant and enlightened toward those people in our own culture who do not share our views on nudity (and religion and politics and legalized pot and……). Happy travels, Rick. Keep the food for thought coming.

  23. The spa in Baden-Baden is an amazing experience! We knew it was an opportunity not to be missed and that we would regret it if we didn’t. We were on the Best of GAS tour and talked several hesitant people into trying it. They loved it, admitting any discomfort with the nudity issue was quickly steamed, massaged and pooled away. Really, no one cares about the nudity once you’re in there. Think of yourself as going European! I would have gone again the next day if we hadn’t been leaving. If you’re going to travel, blend with the locals and maximize your thrills just like Rick says.

  24. In 2003 my wife and I spent 4 months in Europe, mostly following Rick’s itineraries. I’m not sure that we really knew about the spa experience in Baden Baden however. Upon arriving there, as was often the case, I went for a long walk, which I would also recommend in B-B. Late that same night we went to the spa, and I guess were a little surprised about the nude protocol. Oh well, I dove in, but not my wife. It was a little awkward, but soon the freedom of no suit, and very few people in the off season, became pretty darn relaxing, and that’s what really counts. The hardest part was choosing which relaxing area to go to. Sitting in the outdoor hot pool with the waterfall crashing down on your back was fantastic? Let the traveling aches and pains disappear in the swirling pool. B-B is definetely high end. But as someone else said, the price of the spa experience is well worth it. I didn’t opt for the masseur thing,but that teutonic spanking sounds kind of interesting!

  25. The Roman baths in Baden-Baden are a wonderful experience. I had hurt my knee and the baths were great for it. I noticed there is a sand timer above your head at the massage with the soap brush. (I went for the soft brush) Rick is right, it is not sexy, and luckily for me, there weren’t alot of people at the spa when I was there. If you are on the GAS tour you MUST go to the spa in Baden-Baden. By the way, just have a good cold german beer before you go, and that will relax you for the experience. We had several members from our group that went to the spa, and we all loved it and laughed later about how much fun it was………………

  26. he held my arms like a fisherman holds a salmon so I wouldn’t slip away……… I WAS THERE AT THAT MOMENT WITH A VISUAL OF THE EXPERIENCE. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

  27. People mention free and easy travel in Europe, not on a tour. (Sorry Rick). After 9 trips, and 605 nights in an RV, is RV travel worth it, you ask? Can you imagine camping at Chamonix, France at the foot of Mt. Blanc; in Fiesole, Italy, high over the Arno River Valley with the domes and towers of Florence spread out below; on an island in the Rhône River with the floodlit Le Pont D’Avignon and the Popes’ Palace on the far riverbank; with le Mont St. Michel (northern France) out our window one night, the Rock of Gibraltar (southern Spain), or the Parthenon (in Athens) on another; next to the wall of the Crusades city of Aigues-Mortes, and the double wall of Carcassonne, France; on the bank of the River Seine in Paris, the Neckar in Heidelberg, the Vltava in Prague, the Rhine and the Mosel at Koblenz, and the Danube in Budapest; on Lido Island across the lagoon from Venice; along the Adriatic near Dubrovnik; and hundreds more. Visiting these spectacular destinations seems almost a dream.

  28. Discovering the nude beach in the Cinqueterre on my first trip to Europe 17 years ago on a ETBD tour was one of many highlights of a life-changing trip. Trying to be cool, my friend and I stripped and then, acting like twenty-something American chicks, began taking pictures. Some nearby Italian dudes were happy to pose with us. I’m not sure what my parents thought when they saw my photo album but I’ll have something to show my grandkids!

  29. Well, we didn’t find a completely nude beach on the Cinque Terre, but found beautiful “scenery” several places on several beaches. From Riomaggiore, Italy, a 15 minute walk along a picturesque, curious, narrow path, a niche hewn out of the rocky cliff and overhanging the Mare (Sea) Ligure (Italy’s west coast), brought us to Manorola, the next Cinque Terre town to the north. This trodden path is called the Via dell’Amore, or “Road of Love.” I had high hopes both times we were here, but we just walked. (1988-1995)

  30. I was alone in Baden Baden last summer and wanted to go to the Friedrichsbad, got to the door and chickened out. I would have done it if I had been with a friend. Oh, well, next trip. I did go to the CaraCala baths up the street where bathing suits are worn and it was a wonderful experience. They have the mineral pools, the hot and cold plunge, steam rooms, waterfalls that pummel your head, shoulders and back. When I left I felt like I was floating. Anyone who wants the ‘baths’ experience but can’t handle the nudity should do this, the next best thing.

  31. I know no one else (except my husband) who would like seeing me naked. I wouldn’t burden anyone else with that picture. Sorry! And I am not overweight – just have lots of scars, etc. from C-sections and surgeries.

  32. My husband and I did this spa less than a year ago. It was amazing. I was definitely nervous about it – buy I figured, I definitely won’t run into anyone I know and will never see these people again. That was almost true…all over town for the remaining time there, I am seeing everyone that I had seen at the spa, on the street, at the restaurant, at the museum – and all I can do is picture them nude. Cracked me up. I know I couldn’t go to this spa with another couple…I am pretty relaxed about things but that might fall under too much info. We did this at the end of our 2 week trip and it was the best way to end a trip. The soaking, the scrubbing, the bathing, the cold punge (totally worth it) and the relaxation room. It was heaven. My husband wants to end every single European trip at Baden-Baden if at all possible. I will encourage everyone I know to do this spa. It is definitely NOT sexy…just people hanging with people. Educational is a better word for it.

  33. Rick, after seeing your show on Baden-Baden over a decade ago, I have become a regular twice-a-year visitor to enjoy the excellent spas. Baden-Baden is my favorite German town. Having used the spas there for over 60 times, I had encountered nude Americans in fewer than half a dozen times. However, Americans are not the only group that is public-nudity-shy, the Asians seem to be even shyer. As an Asian female, only once did I run into another Asian using the all-nude sauna. I was always starred at by just about every man and woman in the sauna, probably because a nude Asian is a rare sight. For anyone who may have trouble braving it all, just tell yourself that you are amongst strangers and you won’t see them again. Besides, there are always plenty of people who look far worse than you. Rick — I pray that I won’t run into you at the spas. After watching your show for over a decade, it would be awkward for me to see a “friend” naked :)

  34. Hello Rick, after being a long time fan of your programs and using them as teaching tools for my children, I decided to go online and check things out! This was a great experience! I raised my children on nude beaches at Lake Tahoe. One concerned “friend” asked my children, “What do you see at the beach?” They both replied, “Families”. My daughter, 4 at the time, then added, as if to encourage this friend to go to the beach, “At first the penises are kinda scary but you’ll get used to them. I can’t wait to travel Europe and take my children now 16 & 18! Thank you!

  35. Three of the tour memebers did make it to the “naked” spa. My wife and I scheduled our visit for after hiking and at a time when we knew most of the other tour members were to be at a free outdoor concert. The one other tour member scheduled her spa trip for a time when she knew that my wife and I would be hiking and she has her own story to tell. We all felt that it would be strange to see each other naked and then be together touring for another two weeks. The other people in the spa we would never see again. It was weird at first to be naked around strangers but the weirdness soon fades. The staff on the men’s side were very nice and spoke English. The spa experience was incredible. Each stage of the spa process was designed to remove stress, muscle soreness and impart a sense of relaxation. By the time I left the yellow room I didn’t have a care in the world. I wish that I could visit Friedrichsbad everyday Also, it was fun to see Steve(clothed) at our bus the next morning.

  36. I went and I was part of the July 10th tour. We didn’t tell the other tour members we were going (hence, Tara didn’t know). Was wondering Rick, if that was you I saw! We had a fabulous time, really fun and it is a “must” if you are going to Baden Baden. Hike first and then go for a luxurious spa and spoil yourself. A side note, none of the spa women spoke English and the spa itself was under construction so it was an experience. The construction workers are dressed, even though you are not dressed. No big deal, you’ll never see them again. And, because certain “pools” were closed, there were more “mixed pools” and I wasn’t sure which was which, so just jumped into them all! Great fun! I was the only woman, and that was a bit wierd, but who cares, you’re on vacation!

  37. Thank you so much for this gem! In planning my trip in a couple months I’ve made a definite side-track to make it to Baden-Baden to experience this. I understand there are some who wouldn’t be comfortable with being nude in front of others and that’s totally cool, but as for me this sounds absolutely exhilarating. Thanks Rick!

  38. Just got back from holidays, so I’ve been busy reading Rick’s blog and all the comments. I think some of you misinterpreted the “dome” comment. Wasn’t Rick referring to the “exquisite” domes on the ceiling???

  39. Sue, there isn’t ever a question whether someone would like to see you naked or not, just as the same question would never arise if you were clothed. You just are what you are. I live at a clothing optional place in the States. There are women with C-section scars, mastectomies, you name it, the whole range of human existence and if someone doesn’t like looking at them it’s never apparent and wouldn’t be accepted by the rest of us if it were. Anyhow you do whatever makes you comfortable. I’m just sayin’.

  40. My wife and I are planning a trip to Europe next summer.We love to watch Rick’s shows and get the “inside track” on what to do and see while there both good and bad. I just sent this to the wife to look at and we will put it on our list!! Thanks Rick!

  41. No one has mentioned the big “what if”? I would be so embarased if I got there in the nude and well, you know…. Things were not as “relaxed” as they should be.

  42. I was just in Baden-Baden for the first time last weekend and wanted to experience Friedrichsbad since I’ve seen Rick’s episode before. Being this was a totally new nude experience for me, I found it awkward for about the first five minutes and after that I didn’t even realize I was naked. You just have to allow yourself to relax which is actually easy to do considering the spa is itself amazingly relaxing. I liked it so much that I went back the next day for another session. Besides the spas, Baden-Baden is a great picturesque city and plan on going back in September. If you get a chance to go, I’d definitely recommend it.

  43. Personal boundaries are a GOOD thing. I don’t buy the whole “nudity has nothing to do with sex” business – I suppose you were staring at the breasts of “the beautiful woman from Texas” for entirely cerebral reasons. I am among those who don’t want my private parts being gawked at by a bunch of strangers, particularly strangers pretending to be more “cool” than they are but secretly titillated by all the nudity. No thank you. Oh, and having boundaries doesn’t make people prudes, as you were kind enough to imply. Some of us consider bodies private and wish to keep them to ourselves. If you were truly tolerant as you pretend, you would not find anything wrong with that.

  44. You know, quite a few of the free thinkers” commenting on this interesting and entertaining blog seem very quick to characterize those unfortunate souls who prefer not to be nude with strangers as sad, sexually hung up, uptight, Puritanical, or uncomfortable with their bodies.” — Agreed, Patty, but maybe you should stop siding with them by calling such people “unfortunate”. To me, all this nudity is overcompensation for the sexual repression of the past. Whether you’re repressed or overcompensating for past repression, you aren’t really free either way. But it’s fashionable to bash “typically American” attitudes, particularly among those Americans who think they are so much wiser and more liberated than anyone else. That attitude is far from the superior “tolerance” they claim to have.

  45. A lot of great points made here. I am in the military and have spent almost 7 years in Germany throughout my career. The spas are all wonderful and Americans do stand out because they are overwhelmed by the nudity. However, I can promise that a good portion of the German population do not visit the spas or keep themselves covered with a towell at all times because they, too, are uncomfortable. Even at Chimsee (a gorgeous lake near Salzburg), the “norm” is to change in and out of your bathing suit right there lakeside. But not everyone does. My opinion…If your comfortable and it adds to your relaxation and, most importantly, to your soaking in the culture, bare all. If your not comfortable, wrap a towel or bath sheet around your bod and you can still enjoy.

  46. While in the Army, I was stationed in Germany. My German girlfriend, her sisters, parents, and I would always visit the FKK (nude beaches) We always had a nice time there.The Germans are so much more open about nudity, and it’s no big deal to them as it is here in the States. I wish more Americans would open up to it. Oh love your show on pbs.

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  48. Look at this, a post dated July 2007 and here I am, arriving on this blog via expat+HAREM in June of 2010. The post I departed from is titled Buff Culture and tackles the differences between prudish Americans and free floating Europeans. Rick, Your post made me laugh out loud. You do know what “lol” means in Dutch, don’t you? It makes writing LOL double as much fun. Thanks!

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