Best of Blog: Well-Fed Ex-Geese

With elbows resting on a rustic windowsill on a farm in France’s Dordogne, I lost track of time watching Denis grab an endless line of geese one at a time in a kind of peaceful, mesmerizing trance, filling them with corn. Like his father and his father and his father, Denis spends five hours a day, every day, all year long sitting in a barn on a rolling stool with a machine that looks like a giant vacuum cleaner filled with corn, surrounded by geese.

He rhythmically grabs a goose by the neck, pulls him under his leg and stretches him up, sliding the tube down to the belly and fills it with corn. He pulls the trigger to squirt the corn, slowly slides the tube up the neck and out, holds the beak shut for a few seconds, lets that goose go and grabs the next.

When I told friends we planned to film geese being force-fed — the traditional way they fatten the livers to make foie gras, the prized delicacy in France’s Dordogne region — many expressed disgust and even thought I was wrong to show it on TV. There are actually people who want to boycott French foie gras for what they consider inhumane treatment of the geese. That’s why I was on Denis’ goose farm…to learn more about le gavage (as the force-feeding process is called).

Elevage du Bouyssou, a big, homey goose farm a short drive from Sarlat, is run by a Denis and Nathalie Mazet. The geese are filled with corn three times a day for the last month of their lives. They have expandable livers and no gag reflex, so the corn stays there, gradually settling as it’s digested, making room for the next visit from Denis and his corn gun.

Watching Denis work, I wondered what a life like that would be…actually knowing an endless cycle of all those geese. Did geese populate his dreams? How did it affect his relations with his wife?

While Denis squirts corn, Nathalie meets tourists — mostly French families — who show up each evening at six to see how their beloved foie gras is made. The groups stroll the idyllic farm as Nathalie explains how they raise a thousand geese a year. She stresses that the key to top-quality foie gras is happy geese raised on quality food in an unstressed environment. They need quality corn and the same feeder.

I join the group as we un-force-feed the baby geese. We stroll into the grassy back lot where the older geese run free — backlit by the low, early-evening sun, they look like a Muesli commercial (perfectly fulfilling my goose dream for the TV show).

Two geese are humping. I can’t help but notice the boy yanking feathers off the back of the girl’s head as he (I suppose) enjoys his orgasm. Nathalie said she can tell which girls are getting any action by the bald spots on the backs of their heads. There’s plenty of action, as about half the birds in the yard sported the souvenir — that fowl equivalent of wife-beating — that comes with a roll in the hay.

The Mazets sell everything but the head and feet. The down feathers only net about 30 cents a goose. The serious money is in the livers. A normal liver weighs a quarter-pound. When done with the force-feeding process, the liver weighs about two pounds. (With a thousand geese, they produce a ton of foie gras annually. Nathalie said, “Barely enough to support one family.”)

These geese actually have a special shape — like they’re waddling around with a full diaper under their feathers. Just the sight of this shape — which is a sales icon in shops throughout the Dordogne — is enough to make visiting English travelers (who come here in droves for the foie gras) salivate.

Why the Dordogne? It’s on the geese migratory path. Ages ago, locals here caught geese on their migration, livers enlarged for the long journey (like traveling with a topped-off gas tank). As French are inclined to do, they ate the innards, found them extra-tasty and decided to produce their own. Those first French foie gras farmers didn’t know it, but the technique of keeping geese and enlarging the livers for human consumption goes back to ancient Egyptian times.

Nathalie, like other French enthusiasts of le gavage, says that while their animals are calm, in no pain and are designed to take in food this manner, American farm animals are typically kept in little boxes and fed chemicals and hormones to get fat. Most battery chickens in the US live less than two months and are plumped with hormones. Her geese are free-range and live six months.

Dordogne geese live lives at least as comfy as other farm animals (that people so upset with the foie gras process have no problem eating) and are slaughtered as humanely as any non-human can expect in this food-chain existence.

Some people raise geese as a hobby. On a different farm I met Cyril, a retired Parisian realtor. His dream: To live his golden years in the Dordogne region with a little barn full of geese to force-feed. He claims to “speak goose” and will feed his geese any time…just drop by, so I added him to our guidebook.

After a few days in the Dordogne, where farmers in the markets are evangelical about their foie gras and constantly passing out little goose-liver sandwiches — and where every meal seems to start with a foie-gras course — I always leave with strong need for foie gras detox.

A Human Traffic Jam at Nice’s Train Station

Whether you’re docking in Nice or Monaco, or tendering in from Villefranche, getting around the Côte d’Azur is a snap by train. You may encounter congestion that has nothing to do with the cruise crowdsas we did here in the Nice train station. When there’s a human crush like this in Europe, I like to settle into a peaceful nook and just enjoy a little people-watching until the jam clears.

If you can’t see the video below, watch it on YouTube.

Just Hop a Tender to Villefranche and the Cote d’Azur is Yours

If you make a point of it, it’s easy to avoid the cruise mobs both on and off the ship. For example, in Villefranche on the French Riviera, I skipped breakfast and “tendered” into port as others were hitting the breakfast buffet.

The only time we didn’t actually dock at a pier was in Villefranche, our springboard for the French Riviera. There we “tendered” in with a big shuttle boat that seated about 200. To avoid congestion (as lines to get off the cruise ship onto the tender can be very long), I skipped breakfast, caught an early tender (about 8:30), and found breakfast in Villefranche. I had expected congestion and waiting in line to be a daily part of the cruise routine. But even though our ship was sold out, I never noticed congestion. Both onboard the ship and on shore, if you make a point to get away from the mobs, you can. For example, I enjoyed being all alone on the bow of the ship at night under the moon. After dinner, the top deck was all mine. A few ports (like Dubrovnik) can be inundated by cruisers when several ships are in port at the same time. But in each of the ports on this cruise, I could be on my own — without a hint of the cruise industry — within an hour of finishing my onboard breakfast buffet.

Here is the view from where our tender dropped us off. Thousands of cruise travelers wash in and out of ports like Villefranche daily throughout the season. It’s like a tide bringing in nutrients: the locals make a few bucks and the travelers are free to either glob together in tour-bus groups or get lost on their own. Throughout the cruise, I found a very healthy and efficient “find a need and fill it” energy in ports accommodating the demand for whatever cruise travelers might want: Internet access, taxi service, hats to provide shade, and small shops renting electric cars or bikes.

Scampering Down Eiffel’s Staircase

The Eiffel Tower is notorious for its lines. You’ll likely wait to go both up and down by elevator. While the elevator is worth whatever wait is necessary for going up, I actually prefer to take the stairs down. There are three levels. While the stairs are not open to the public between the second level and the top, the stairs between the second and first levels, and between the first and the ground, are wide open. It takes three minutes to bop down the stairs between these levels…as demonstrated in this less-than-smooth video. Let’s go!

If you can’t see the video below, watch it on YouTube.

There Are Two Ways to Get Up the Eiffel Tower: Smart or Stupid

If your time is worth anything (and I always assume my traveling readership has very valuable time), you must get a reservation to go up the Eiffel Tower. Here, looking down from the first level at the lines on the ground, it’s clear: Those who just show up waste lots of time. Those who follow their guidebook’s advice and book an entrance time in advance (it’s easy) scoot right in. Just be sure to reserve well ahead — in peak times (such as summer), slots can book up several weeks in advance. Spend five minutes booking it now, and save an hour or more in line next month.

If you can’t see the video below, watch it on YouTube.