Debating Dubrovnik and Making TV

Our TV show on “Dubrovnik and Balkan Side-Trips,” which debuts this month on public television, is one of my favorites of this new series. The editor’s cut came in at more than two minutes too long. Here’s an e-mail exchange I had with our team on the painful chore of cutting it to size. It’s between me, Steve Cammarano (our television editor), and Cameron Hewitt (co-author to my guidebook on this region and this episode’s co-writer). The reference to “kill your babies” is the slang editors use when writers can’t part with something adorable, even though it doesn’t fit the structure of an article, book, or script. It’s graphic, but to writers, it almost seems appropriate. This exchange, while a bit wonkish perhaps, gives a peek at the debates that go on behind the scene as we make these shows ‘ and also illustrates how fortunate I am to work with such talented people.

———-

To: Rick and Cameron

From: Steve

The “Dubrovnik and Balkans Side-Trips” show is ready for you to view. It is running 2:30 long, and nothing seems obviously cuttable. So, since it’s a “kill your babies” decision, Simon [the producer] and I thought we’d let you decide which of the little babies to slaughter. (We’ll nickname you Herod afterwards!) Let me know what you think. After you get a chance to look at it, I’ll give Cameron a file or DVD so we can get his comments too and consolidate all cuts/changes.

Thanks, Steve

———-

To: Steve

From: Rick

Here’s the Dead Baby Cemetery. Cut these sequences to save the necessary time:

[8 OC] Locals consider themselves a unique mix of Slavic and Roman culture. When Dubrovnik was just a small town in the seventh century, this main drag was a water way. Romans fleeing from the invading Slavs lived on this side, which was a fortified island. And eventually, the Slavs settled on the mainland. In the 11th century, the canal was filled in, the towns merged, and Dubrovnik’s culture blossomed.

[11] The Sponza Palace is the finest surviving example of Dubrovnik’s Golden Age in the 15th and 16th centuries, combining Renaissance and Venetian Gothic styles. Stepping into its stately courtyard takes you back to that illustrious age.

[13] In the Middle Ages, the city’s monasteries flourished. Today tourists escaping the heat explore these peaceful, sun-dappled cloisters and their modest museums.

[14] Religious art and fine reliquaries stand as evidence of the town’s importance in its heyday. Paintings from the “Dubrovnik School” show the Republic’s circa-1500 answer to the art boom in Florence and Venice. This canvas shows old-time Dubrovnik ‘ looking much like it does today.

[18] We’re staying at a small guesthouse at the top of town. Throughout Croatia, sobe ‘ that’s rooms for rent in private homes ‘ are a much better value than big hotels. Ours is run by Pero.

[19 Pero sound bites: walnut grappa, the war, six month siege, no food, no electricity, house bombed, 200 years in family, couldn’t just walk away, rebuilt, made guesthouse, now the tourists are back.]

This was really tough but I feel Dubrovnik is a well-worn topic and what we did in Montenegro and Bosnia was really ground-breaking. I really like Cameron’s presence in the show and wouldn’t cut a word of that. By cutting this, by my count, we save 2:25.

Other comments (not related to our time concerns): Could we include one more painting of a ship in a storm to make that bit more vivid? When the script says “gave the place its name ‘ Montenegro” I envision the mountain-ringed basin looking inland with the craggy rocks and the inhospitable expanse. Do we have something like that to consider? If you think the woman is inaudible for #69 I could read the VO for the park-turned-cemetery. It might save time too. I miss the map of the Serb Republic within Bosnia-Herz, and I miss the cruise ship reality bit. But there just isn’t time. Again, nice work.

Thanks, Rick

———-

To: Rick and Steve

From: Cameron

Thanks for sending this list, Rick. I discussed with Steve and took a careful look at the show/script. Here’s my take:

First, this is yet another fantastic show. Gorgeously shot by Karel and artfully edited by Steve. I wasn’t sure how we’d cram so much interesting content into one package and still let it breathe, but Steve pulled it off. The sequence near the end, juxtaposing the church and the mosque crowd over pensive music, is about the most powerful thing I’ve seen regarding this conflict. The show succeeds in grappling with the realities of war head-on, without glossing over painful truths, while still being entertaining, easy to comprehend, and a lively travelogue…all this and even-handed, too. Great work, everyone!

I agree with most of Rick’s suggested cuts. The Sponza Palace can definitely go; the monasteries are also optional, though I find them more interesting/important/pretty than the palace. If we cut both, however, the sightseeing content in Dubrovnik gets very thin; it’d be nice to save one or the other.

Rick’s on-camera about the filled-in canal is also somewhat deletable, though I like it. I’d try to keep it unless it’s essential to cut.

On the whole, when you add up all of your cuts, it seems like Dubrovnik is really being gutted. In your version, Dubrovnik ‘ which, after all, is the title and main destination of the show ‘ really gets short shrift. You mention that Dubrovnik is well-worn. Well, maybe for those of us who’ve traveled a lot. But in terms of the TV audience, this is your one and only shot at it, and it’d be a shame to do it halfway. Paris and London are well-worn, but they still deserve to be covered in a TV show as if for the first time.

So I’d lobby to keep Pero. I think that sequence is very effective. Pero comes off as likeable and articulate. And it’s very powerful to see the two of you standing in a formerly destroyed house holding a mortar.

More importantly, big picture: If we cut Pero, we throw off the delicate balance that this show has achieved. When you think about the local people you “interview,” we’ve currently got a Croat, a Montenegrin, a Serb, and a Muslim. I think it’s critical to afford each group a voice. Including Pero offers a powerful symmetry to this show: We see the gorgeous town of Dubrovnik, then hear about the war from someone who lived through it; later, we see the pretty town of Mostar, then hear about the war from someone who lived through it. If we leave out Pero, the only real talk of Croats is as the aggressors in Mostar. I think it’s essential to also show a Croat (Pero) as a resilient victim. Pero also personalizes the war in Dubrovnik in a pretty dramatic way.

So what’s to be done? It’s clear to me that ‘ both in terms of the quality of the sequences, and in terms of the overall balance of the show ‘ the most expendable bit is Cetinje. If you simply cut everything after the explanation of the name “Black Mountain,” it’s a tidy transition out of the country.

I really like Stefan, and I’d be very sorry to see him go. And, Rick, I know you have an affection for Cetinje. But let’s be honest: Cetinje is neither particularly attractive, nor historically interesting. At best, it’s a depressed, once-great town that gets a quirky footnote in history. And the church/monastery Stefan guides you through pales in comparison to the one in Trebinje. It feels like one Orthodox church too many (especially right in a row). I’d rather have an articulate, philosophizing priest explaining a gorgeous Orthodox church than a tour guide explaining a hokey artifact in a blah one. If you’re trying to flesh out a thin show, that’s one thing. But we have the opposite problem. If anything should get short shrift in this overstuffed show, it’s Montenegro ‘ not Dubrovnik.

Getting back to the issue of providing balance: If we take out Stefan, we’ve still got a Croat (Pero), a Serb (Father Drazen), and a Muslim (Alma). That feels right to me, as you promise in the opening OC, “We’ll get to know three major groups of the former Yugoslavia ‘ Croats, Serbs, and Muslims.”

If we cut Cetinje, it should get us closer to the time we need. We could also cut some of the Dubrovnik bits you suggested. I’d also nominate selectively trimming some of the interview sections. For example:

–Father Drazen is great, but one question/answer that could go is the one about “pluralism.” I found his answer too pat (“sure, sure, sure!”) and frankly unconvincing; his response to the next question, about “Balkanization” is similar but far more revealing (“we have to work hard at it”), and does the job better than the pluralism answer.

–The section with my lines conveys a lot of hard-to-digest content and is pretty dense. But we could cherry-pick a few lines in there to cut. For example, the explanation of why these wars happened (age-old hatreds vs. manipulative politicians) is an important point, but difficult to convey succinctly. It could go.

–I can see where it might work to trim down Alma’s talk in the cemetery, if you want, and cover some of that with your voice-over.

Rick, I feel strongly about the Cetinje issue. I really think cutting Cetinje would make this a more powerful show ‘ and a more balanced, nuanced, and thought-provoking one.

I hope this helps. I might give the show another look to see if there are any (minor) factual bits that need to be tweaked.

Thanks for listening, Cameron

———-

To: Steve and Cameron

From: Rick

Thanks, Cameron. You’d make a good lawyer. OK, I’ll buy keeping Pero. But I’d like to cut all the other proposed bits from Dubrovnik. That means we still have to cut something to make Steve’s time needs. I agree that the kid in the Cetinje church is cuttable, and the bit about pluralism. So, please, cut all but Pero in Dub, cut the church (only) in Cetinje, and cut just the line about pluralism. What does that leave us, Steve, for further cuts needed?

Rick

———

To: Rick and Cameron

From: Steve

Rick, I’ll take a look at what that would mean time-wise for your revised, proposed cuts. After taking into consideration both yours and Cameron’s comments, I’d like to make my own case. I agree with Cameron’s proposal to cut Cetinje entirely for the reasons he states, and cutting just the church/relic sequence makes Cetinje even more unnecessary in the show. If we cut all of Cetinje we drop 1:25. In terms of Dubrovnik, I would cut the monasteries and art because I feel they are less than impressive and doing so would connect your previous on-camera to the walls of Dubrovnik better (the OC was about the period when Dubrovnik was growing/becoming prominent, and the walls are the most visible and impressive sign of that). Losing the monasteries and art would cut around another 30 seconds. And I also feel very strongly that we should keep Pero in the show. Finally, I agree with Cameron’s suggested trim of Father Drazen when he speaks of pluralism. Depending on where I cut it, that gets us somewhere between 15 and 25 seconds. That puts us right in the pocket, time-wise. I can probably get it to time after that with my usual final pass of trims and fine cutting. I think this would make the best show and get me where I need to be time-wise. I’ll look into where your proposed cuts would leave us in terms of show length, Rick. Let me know what you guys think.

Thanks, Steve

———-

To: Steve and Cameron

From: Rick

Hello all,

Cutting Cetinje will come back to haunt you because I think we might actually have to return for an entire show. But, I’m clearly outvoted so I’ll go with that. How about this: Cut Cetinje altogether (1:25), cut monastery and art, cut pluralism. Does that get us to the goal line? I am ambivalent about the palace.

Why don’t Steve and Cameron huddle with this last input from me? The Dubrovnik thing is complex. Proceed from the starting point of what time we need to save without Cetinje and pluralism. Please tell me, without Cetinje and pluralism, how you propose to make it fit with just Dubrovnik cuts after that.

Thanks, Rick

———-

To: Rick and Cameron

From: Steve

Rick,

I’ve cut Cetinje and pluralism, and it leaves us 49 seconds long. Of your earlier proposed Dubrovnik cuts the OC about Slavs/Romans is 23 seconds, Sponza Palace is 14 seconds, and the monasteries and art are 30 seconds. Keep in mind that I should be able to get another 10-15 seconds of fat out when I take a final pass, so we could get most of the way by cutting one or two of these and find the remaining time in trims. We can easily figure it out after you get home. (I’ll begin working on “The Best of Cetinje” show after Oslo…)

Steve

———-

To: Rick and Steve

From: Cameron

Hey Rick,

Thanks for being open to our suggestions. It’s going to significantly strengthen an already stellar show! (Hmmm. I can see it now: “The Miserable Mediterranean: Cetinje, Gythio, and Genoa.” I’ll get working on a script…)

Cameron

———-

To see what ended up on the cutting room floor, watch this clip about Cetinje.